I Do Not Do Stupid Things

Someone seems to have the mistaken impression that I am only capable of doing stupid things.

This post is of course, to clear the misconception.

I could talk about the time when I helped an old lady cross the road or the time I single-handedly foiled a bank robbery, or even that time when I stopped the assassination of a high ranking minister but I won't.

I never believe in blowing my own trumpet and also, I do not want to write anything that the average Joes who read my blog cannot emphasize with.

So here are some of the more mundane and non-stupid stuff in my life that people can identify with.

Muay Thai

I have always wanted to learn Muay Thai and in fact, it was one of my last year resolution. I have always been a laid back person and I figured that the reason why my life was so boring is that I am lacking aggression.

That is why I plonked down a thousand bucks for my Muay Thai classes and am so damn broke now.

That is also why the grass patches around my HDB are getting bald.

I am glad to say though that Muay Thai seems to be helping in increasing my aggression. Nowadays, I have to control my urge not to punch and kick people.

One thing bad about Muay Thai though, is that the sandbags are really hard...

I love kicking Sandbags because they don't kick back! Or do they...

Really really hard.

So I was really happy when the instructor invited me to try kicking his thighs. It will be a welcome change from kicking unyielding sandbags or so I thought.

I was so wrong though.

Kicking the instructor's thigh was like hitting a concrete wall. The harder I kick, the more pain I felt.

The one time that the instructor nonchalently kick my thigh though had me feeling like I was hit by a baseball bat.

But that is OK, for pain = fun and More Pain = More Fun.




Wake boarding

I am a really bad swimmer and I have absolutely no idea why I am into water sports. I am sure that stupidity has got nothing to do with it though.

It all started when my workplace offered a heavily subsidised wake boarding trip at Marina. I went for it and was convinced that I was a talented wake boarder when I managed to gain my balance on my 3rd or 4th try.

Raw Talent Is A Sight To Behold

High on my success, I stupidly agreed when Azmi invited me for cable ski wake boarding in Batam. Cable Ski wake boarding is very different from Boat wake boarding though and I spent that whole day drinking lake water.

The 3rd wake boarding trip to batam was fun and really rewarding though. I managed to gain my balance finally after some unintentional motivation from Eilleen. Sadly though, she stopped motivating me after I reached the number 2 sign board of the wake boarding circuit.

I had fun watching her hit the water though. Her determination is commendable though. She keeps going back in the line for her chance to charge back into the lake water no matter how many times she falls. I think she likes pain, and I no longer wonder why she likes it when I whack her head :)


Open Water Diving

As I've said, I am a poor swimmer. I do not lack courage though and I've always wanted to try diving.

There are of course, more compelling reasons why I signed up for the open water diving course but I will not be mentioning them here.

I am not suicidal though, so I will be going to practice my swimming at the nice neighborhood pool in a couple of hours time.

There are a lot more examples that show I can do non stupid things but I have to stop here and go to sleep if I do not want to drown at the pool in a few hours time.

Till next time!

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings. I will like to state again though, that I am not stupid and never was.

Basics Of Wriggling - Lesson One (Original)

A week or two ago, a friend of mine had trouble getting out from under her blanket for work.

Being the kind generous friend I was, I took the trouble of putting together the manual (during working hours somemore) for the long lost art of wriggling and imparted it to her.

However, although she looks like a brooding intellectual type, it seems that her understanding of this basic but powerful technique is really limited.

So here is the manual again, in the hopes that one day she might be enlightened enough to master this useful art.

This is you laying in the bed, early in the morning, under the blanket. However, in order for you to properly see the technique, the blanket will not be drawn.

Step 1 - Shift

This is the first step in the technique of basic wriggling. It is a simple step to master. Basically, you just have to lift your butt slightly off the bed and shift it to the right. If performed correctly, only your butt will move while the rest of your body remain in stasis.

Step 2 - Movement

Next, you just have to shift your butt back to the left. This time however, your butt should be in contact with the bed. The friction between your cute butt and the bed will act as the force to move your body to the right. The point to take note here is that the direction of your butt movement will propel your body in the OPPOSITE direction.

Step 3 - Repeat

The last step of this technique just requires you to keep repeating step 1 and 2 until you get off your bed.

Practice this diligently, and you will never find yourself unable to get out under the blanket again :)

In this illustration, you will end up on the right side of the bed. The fall from your bed to the floor might be abit painful though.

The technique is by no means limited to usage on the bed. Feel free to use it to get to the toilet if you want to.

Take note the left and right side of this illustration might be abit confusing.

That is why I have included it in the illustration to make it easier for you.

P/S If you prefer to get get out from the right side of the bed, just reverse the direction of the movement.