Work and Greener Pastures

I rarely blog about my job because really, there is nothing interesting to blog about.

I don't think that anyone would be interested in reading about incidents where we have to handle aggressive or abusive 'customers' or worse still, 'customers' who like smearing themselves with shit. (No... I am not working in the Institute of Mental Health... even though there are days where some of our 'customers' can really pass off as hardcore psychotic patients)

Also, with me being in the uniform service and this being a very open and public blog, posting about the nature of my work is just a good way for me to be called to the boss office for a talking to, which I don't think I will enjoy very much.

Lastly, as I don't happen to like my current job that much, most of what I will post about the job will sound like endless whining, something which I am sure most of you would have got more than enough from your bfs/gfs and so don't need to get more from my blog.

Truth is, I don't think I am really suited for my job, I am no disciplinarian and I do not really enjoy shouting at or restraining people. I have made no secret about it that I will either leave for a greener pasture (if I can find one) or to further my studies once my bond is up.

But lately, it seemed that work is getting more endurable. I have just been posted to a more relax designation, gotten a promotion and passed my IPPT (yay! no need for RT!). In fact, I am getting so used to my job that I was thinking that maybe getting the $10k retention money and adding another year to my bond is not that bad an idea.

But as I was entertaining this thought, Cat msned me and asked whether I would be going for the next SIA interview. (It seems that she is getting quite bored with her office job)

I then proceeded to tell her about me being just promoted, my very negligible pay increment and my thoughts of staying and she asked me this simple question,

"Would you like the pay increment... or would you like to fly?"

The first thought that I had when she posted this question was of Superman... and of course I would like to be able to fly, I wouldn't mind being bullet proof and having X-ray vision too (hehehe, the things I could do with an X-ray vision) I don't think I would have enjoyed wearing my underwear on the outside. Sometimes I am really amazed by how my mind wanders. The flying that Cat was talking about here was of course not about Superman, but about flying as a cabin crew.

There was this quiz that I had taken during my training days. It was something about the things that a person look out for in life. There were around 7 things, Survival, Freedom, Power, Love and 3 other qualities that I couldn't quite remember.

At that time, I had listed Survival as the number 1 thing in life and freedom as 2nd. But after finding myself working just for survival, I was beginning to question whether survival is really more important than freedom. Is being alive in a cage really being alive? Are we truly living if we are not enjoying life?

To me, flying equates to freedom. I truly think that traveling to different countries (with pretty cabin crew girls no less!) and experiencing different cultures would really broaden my horizons.

Thus I answered Cat with a resounding, Yes! Of course I would like to fly! (yeah, yeah, I know I am exaggerating... it is quite impossible to answer anyone resoundingly using msn)

And so, we made plans to apply for the next SIA interview together. This also means I must start hitting the gym regularly, sleep early and abstain from late nights dota.

While I was trying to sleep early that night, a colleague (I shall call him S for easier reference) who was working the night shift called to pass time, wtf...

To give some background information on S.

He was a bunk mate whom I got along with quite well during our training days. He's sporty, popular, good looking (he was the talking point among the girls whom seemed to think he was hot =.=) and also a self confessed very horny guy.

In short, he is my total opposite and it is still quite a mystery to me why we got along so well.

S had found out about my plans to join SIA some months ago. It turns out that he was also going to apply for SIA, the only difference is that he wanted to wait until our bond finishes before trying and according to his calculation, we should apply around late february or early march next year to be able to get in just as our bond finishes.

As we were talking crap to help him pass time, it came out that one of the main reason that he had wanted to join SIA was because he wanted to sleep around with SIA girls =.=

I was left to wonder why jerks lol i mean flirty guys are so popular with girls while nice guys like me are left on the shelf.

S also told me that someone he knows had tried for the SIA cabin crew post for a grand total 12 times before getting in.

I think I am so going to break that record...

Coincidentally, my neighbor's birthday falls on the 15th of Dec. If my write-in for the interview gets through, I would have to get her something nice for her birthday to entice her to use her birthday wish to help me get through the interview.

Yeah, I know I am a free thinker and free thinkers are not supposed to be superstitious but wtf, I would try anything I could to get pass this interview. So, nice neighbor... care to drop some hints on what you want in exchange for your birthday wish?

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Tagged

I know that it's been quite awhile since I last posted anything, but the thing is, if you lead a life as mundane as mine, it is very hard to blog about anything.

In fact it is so bad that it is getting to a point where I have almost nothing to post about for the month of November. I seriously suspect that my blog is going to die an ignominious death soon if I do not put in a new entry.

Luckily though, my neighbour had kindly given me something to blog about when she tagged me to do this quiz.

Before I commence on the quiz though, I do have to clarify to my neighbour that looking after prisoners is definitely not a hobby of mine.

If you have to anyhow assign a hobby to me, at least assign some sports such as basketball or wakeboarding or any sports that is 阳光 and manly, alright?


The Quiz

1)The person who tagged you is?

Ans: Rouxuan.

2)Your relationship with him/her is?

Ans: Neighbours.

3)Your 5 impressions of him/her is?

Ans: I am assuming that we are not talking about first impressions here hahaha... and so here we go, the 5 impressions I have of her,

1) Tall. She is pretty damn tall, around 170cm I think. Evolution has obviously made a mistake somewhere, girls shouldn't be taller than guys... (In case you people are wondering, I am definitely not shorter than her... no way... uh uh...)

2) Pretty. She was a cute kid years ago and had grown up to be quite a pretty girl... but think she is having acne outbreaks now hahahaha.

3) Clumsy. She is definitely very, very clumsy. I have seen her falling down while doing the simple act of walking to the lift, and I think that she had sprained her leg sometime ago while standing up from her chair... =.= Seriously, I think her pyscho-motor skills are comparable to Da Jie's

4) Friendly. She actually came over our house to say hi when we first moved in years ago... and she was the first to go over and say hi to our next door neighbours when they moved in...

5) Forgiving. Lol, her msn message used to say that Forgiveness is the greatest gift in life and also, I used to make her cry by calling her 猪头 (pig-head) Xuan all the time when she was young. I still call her that occasionally but we are still on speaking terms... so she is kinda forgiving I guess...

4)The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?

Ans: Wah memorable? She helped me with a birthday gift (a handmade bookmark) that I wanted to give to a girl I was kinda chasing (but failed miserably) about a year ago... does that count?

5)The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?

Ans: Hm... She once called me and said, "Hey are you at home right now? Come down in 5 minutes time and help me settle my cab fare first. Pay you back when I got home..."
That was memorable... for what kind of idiot gets on a cab without first making sure she got enough money with her to pay for the fare?

6)If he/she become your lover, you will?

Ans: Her mum will kill me...

7)If he/she become your lover, the thing he/she has to improve on will be?

Ans: Lol I would be dead if that happen so maybe she can improve her crying skills so that she can cry convincingly at my grave...

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will?

Ans: I will migrate and go into hiding. Seriously, my neighbour is creepy... you should see her paintings. If she is as scary as the pictures she paints... just the thought of it sends shivers down my spine...

9)What you want to tell him/her now is?

Ans: Stop growing taller!

10)Your overall impression of him/her is?

Ans: Nice friendly girl... who can be wierd at times..

11)How do you think people around you feel about you?

Ans: That I am full of crap?

12)The characteristics you love of yourself are?

Ans: That I am full of crap? Lol...

13)The ideal person you want to be is?

Ans: Haha I want to look like Takuya Kimura! A taller version that is... and then I can enjoy free Gatsby products...

14)For people that care and like you, say something to them.

Ans: Wahahahaha!

Pass this Quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.

Lolz... 10 people is alot lehz...

(People who doesn't feel like doing can just ignore this.)

1) Zhongda

2) Delun

3) Chunkin

4) Shaun

5) Junjie

6) Zhengyu

7) Cat

8) Zan

9) Wanying

10) Wanting

15) Who is number 6 having relationship with?

Ans: Lol... I have no idea man...

16) Is number 9 a male or female?

Ans: Female.

17) If number 7 and number 10 are together, will it be a good thing..

Ans: Lol, maybe if either of them go for a sex change?

18) What is number 2 studying?

Ans: Business Management? Lolz... its Econs...

19)When was the last time you had a chat with number 3?

Ans: Around 30 mins ago... if MSN chatting counts.

20) What kind of music band does number 8 like?

Ans: I don't really know... she listens to a wide variety from what I know.

21)Does number 1 has any siblings?

Ans: Lol, number 10 is his elder sister. He got an elder brother also...

22) Will you woo number 3?

Ans: Lol, he's a guy and I am straight...

23) How about number 7?

Ans: Lol, Cheewei will kill me...

24) Is number 4 single?

Ans: No idea... but he hangs out with alot of girls... How do you define single?

25) What is the surname of number 5?

Ans: Li.

26) What are the hobbies for number 10?

Ans: Definitely Mahjung. She has this Miu Miu (which I understand is a brand of some luxurious handbag or something, but seriously Miu Miu is a ludicrous name) fund of which I contribute to regularly whenever we played Mahjung. She once cheated won so much of my $$ that I have to walked home from their house in Bukit Panjang back to my house in Choa Chu Kang...

27) Do number 5 and number 9 get along well?

Ans: Lol, don't think they know each other...

28) Where is number 2 studying at?

Ans: SIM.

29) Say something about number 1

Ans: Lol, my best pal since primary school... I've known him for donkey years... When we were in primary school, he used to be this Casanova type who have girls literally chasing after him during recess time. Now for some reason, he had mellowed down into the shy shy type... =.=

30)Have you try developing feeling for number 8?

Ans: Lol no...

31) Where did number 9 live?

Ans: Choa Chu Kang?

32) What colour does number 4 likes?

Ans: No idea.

33) Are Number 1 and 5 best friends?

Ans: I don't think they know each other.

34)Does number 1 has pets

Ans: Nope.

35) Is Number 7 the sexiest person in the world?

Ans: Hahaha... could be? Have to ask Cheewei...

36)What is number 10 doing now?

Ans: Flying around somewhere?

Hotel626

I had just missed a Dota game due to some lancraft error (Chunkin had taken up the last slot while I was restarting my com, damn) and thus was aimlessly browsing the internet when Aimin intro-ed me to this very eerie game.

Despite being a self proclaimed gaming expert, I just could'nt get past the stage where I have to reach an exit before a shadow reached me and throw me down the stairways.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out how to move to the exit before the stupid shadow finished me off.

But one thing that I figured out is this;

No matter where you moved (alright, I've only moved house once in my life so I am not really qualified to make statements like this... by what the heck), there will always be creepy neighbours around.

The evidences leading me to make this statement:

1) My ex neighbour likes playing scary games...

2) My current neighbour likes drawing eerie pictures

You know that it is a scary world that you live in when the kids living around you are creeping you out...

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone (especially those creepy neighbours) who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Jay Zhou New Album!

Jay Zhou's new album, 魔杰座 is out! And I've just bought it! Nuff Said... :)

Eating Out

So I found myself alone at home during dinner time, feeling very hungry and having nothing to eat.

Not wanting to starve to death and feeling damn sick of the nearby hawker center food -and- having no one to accompany me, I decided to make my way down to Lot 1 to have my dinner, -alone-.

Now, many people I know will balk at eating out alone and they will most probably order a take away instead but me, I am a hardened veteran of having my meals alone and most of the time, I prefer to eat out then to order a take away, for beside being an antisocial single guy, I also happen to be a Dota Addict and strangely, most of the time, my Dota Khakis like to have their game during my meal times.

Athough I am a man of iron will, the pull of a Dota game almost always proved to be stronger and thus, many a times I will end up having my meal while playing Dota.

As studies from Harvard have shown that multitasking while eating is an especially unhealthy habit and with me trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, I found myself eating out more and more often.

However, if you were to eat out alone as often as I do, you will find out that most makan places are not singles friendly at all. (It is as if those eating establishment do not welcome businesses from single people or maybe it is just a ploy of the Government to make life difficult for single people in a bid to make them get hitched and increase Singapore's population)

First of all, seats are problem if you are not eating in those high class places where there are waiters to serve you.

As I am a poor guy, I mostly eat out at food courts or fast food restuarants where there are free seatings (Free seatings in this case mean that you have to literally fight off others for your seat) and when you are eating alone, it is generally agreed upon that you can only go for the couples seat (aka the table for two).

It is considered very unfriendly to deprive a big group of their seats (the only exception being when you are starving and near death) when you are alone mostly because a big group of people can hit u harder then a lovey dovey couple can.

Secondly, after you identified the seats that you can go for, you will discover the second problem of eating alone.

There is no one to chope your seat for you.

Now in this situation, there are basically only 2 things you can do:

1) Technique One, also known as the Declaring The Table Under Your Territory Technique.

This technique involves placing any or whatever items that you have on the table/seats and thus declaring that the table belongs to you.

Generally, it is not a good idea to use valuables (such as your hand phone or your branded bag) for this technique for most probably you will lose your seat -and- your valuables. To be really safe, you should always bring a packet of tissue paper with you when eating out.

The tissue paper will allow you to execute the famous Tissue Paper technique (which basically involves you placing a packet of tissue paper on the table and thus announcing to all that the table now belongs to you).

2) Technique Two, also known as the Buy Food First And Hope To Find Seats Later Technique.

This method is mostly for those who do not have packets of tissue paper with them and also for those with an adventurous spirit.

For those who want to use this technique, it is very useful for you to also learn the Art of Acting Pitiful.

In order to get a seat, you have to first take your tray of food and stand near to a table where the occupants have almost finished their food. Then you have to look at those occupants with puppy dog eyes and basically try to look as pitiful and hungry as possible.

It is also helpful to keep hinting to the occupants that you are really hungry. Stomach growling is a good way, but if you are unable to achieve that, you can also try muttering that you are really very hungry.

For my dinner tonight, I used technique two to get my seat (a four seater) from this elderly couple who have just finished their food.

While I was enjoying my meal though, an auntie approached with her two very young and cute kids and asked whether I can share the seats.

While I recognized this technique as the I Have 3 People And You Only Have 1 So You Better Fucking Share The Seats With Us Technique, I being the nice person that I am, gladly agreed to share the seats.

However, after plonking the two kids (a boy of about four or five years old and a girl of about six or seven years old) on the seats in front of me, the auntie then left to buy food leaving me alone with her two kids.

While she was gone though, the young boy started firing a series of questions at me in English while his sister started playing with her hair or something.

Boy: "So what are you eating?"

Me: "um... Japanese food?" (I have no idea what I was eating actually, just that it was number 22 on the menu and consists of beef and fried salmon)

Boy:"So what is that?"

The boy asked, pointing at my bowl of soup.

Me: "Soup?"

Boy:"Oh... and what is that?"

The boy asked again, pointing at the salmon this time.

Me:"Salmon."

I was giving single word answers to project my unwillingness to reply to his never ending questions. But strangely though, the boy could not take the hint.

Boy:"Ok... and what is that?"

The boy was persistent and irritatingly curious as he pointed at the beef inside my tray.

Me:"um... that's a beef stew... I think..."

Boy: "Is it nice? Can I have some?"

Now, I wouldn't have minded giving him some of the beef stew, if only just to shut him up for a while but somehow, I don't think his mum would have appreciated a stranger giving food to her son and so I just smiled at him without answering and then hurriedly tried to finish my dinner.

Boy: "So what are you doing here?"

The question really stumped me and I was considering telling him that I was there to enjoy my dinner in peace and quiet when the boy's sister spoke for the first time.

Girl: "He's here to eat his dinner, stupid." (I seriously hope that the stupid refers to her brother and not me)

I shot the girl a grateful smile and gulped down my food, anxious to leave the table for the boy's interrogation is making me sweat more than a little but I was also a little bit worried to leave those 2 young kids alone at the table.

Luckily, the auntie returned with her trays of food just as I was about to finish my dinner. Swallowing the last morsel I hastily left the table.

On hindsight, I supposed that I was approached to share my table because I look like a nice guy.

I resolved to perfect my I Am Sibeh Unfriendly So Don't Approach Me to Share My Table look so that I will not be caught in such an awkward position when eating out the next time.

I Am Sibeh Unfriendly So Don't Approach Me to Share My Table Look

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Badminton And The Souvenirs From Japan

Badminton was one of my favorite sport while growing up and though it seemed ages ago, I could still remember how me and my neighbors used to spend the evenings of our school holiday playing at the outdoor badminton court near our house.

Back then, our neighbors were so close that they were kind of like our extended family.

Having grown up with each other and being of similar age, we would often jio each other out to cycle or play at the playground downstairs or if feeling really bored, we would cycle over to little Gui Lin to catch turtles and raced the turtles that we have caught.

Those days, most of our evenings would be spent on playing badminton. There were around 4-5 of us each evening as we have our one vs one knockout match. The rules were simple, the winner gets to stay and the loser gets kicked out after being taunted mercilessly.

Us being poor kids, our badminton games were played mainly on the outdoor badminton court near our house and thoughts of playing in an indoor court never even crossed our minds.

This also means that we were subjected to all kinds of weather conditions while we played though mostly, we played on regardless of the weather.

We played when our shots were curled left and right by the winds, we played under the scorching sun, we played on even when its drizzling.

In fact, the only time when we were not playing was when there's a thunderstorm and that was only with our parents threatening to kill us if the lightning did not.

Back then, I was so into badminton that I taught my little sister how to play. I figured that I would combine two of my favorite activities (playing badminton and bullying my sister) into one and save myself some time.

Playing badminton with my sister used to be a breeze. I would easily trash her 11-0 even when playing with my off hand and on hindsight, I think that part of the reason that I like playing badminton so much back then was because I can irritate my sister to no end by laughing at her after she lost a game. (For reasons unknown, I get much entertainment by irritating my little sister and my elder brother gets his entertainment from irritating me AND my little sister. I wonder if this hold true for all siblings or is it because a sadistic streak runs in our family)

All this changed when my sis joined her school badminton club. I could no longer win her with any ease, in fact, most badminton games with her had me ducking for cover as she smashed the shots at me left right center. Badminton was no longer fun when someone half a head shorter then you bullies you at it. To this day, I blame my sis for my loss of interest in the sport.

Recently though, it seems that everyone around me is playing badminton again. My elder brother was playing it weekly, Chunkin joined his school's badminton club and even my current neighbors play on almost every Sunday (I know because they come over to my house to borrow our shuttle cocks on Sundays).

So while it came as no surprise when Zhongda asked me to help him book a court at Choa Chu Kang Stadium 2 weeks ago for today, I was surprised though that we actually need to book 2 weeks in advance in order to get the court and that the bill actually comes up to $14.80 for 2 hours at a single court.

At first, the only people supposed to be playing were Zhongda, Zhongda's cousin, Zhongyong and Zhongyong's girlfriend. However, on that day itself, Chunkin, Da Jie and I decided to join in. Alan was also supposed to come but he said that he didn't have the energy to play as he had been talking to a girl on the phone till 5am and our game is at 9am.

Playing in an indoor court was very different from playing in an outdoor one. Your shots mostly go where you want them to go with no interference from the wind and the wooden floor provides better friction then the dirty concrete floor of an outdoor court.

While we were having our 2v2 knockout matches, Da jie seemed to be the one having the most fun. She was hopping around exuberantly after each shot (leaving an insane amount of sand from her muddy shoes onto the polished wooden floor), urging her team mate to smack the shots at their opponents.

In fact, Da Jie was so 'high' that I was seriously beginning to suspect her of being on drugs. And as the wooden floor gets more and more scratch marks from her muddy shoes and her non-stop hopping I begin to cast furtive glances at the staff of the badminton court, praying hard that they won't notice the damaged floors and ask us to pay for the re-polishing.

Halfway through the game, I noticed something interesting about Da Jie's psycho-motor skills. While she can return shots that were to the left, right or front of her, shots that were hit past her were beyond her ability to return as she seemed incapable of walking backwards.

Being the sportsmen that we were, we immediately begin to exploit this very weird weakness of Da Jie while Da Jie's cousin (who had the misfortune to be paired with her most of the time haha) was left running all over the court to try to cover her weak point.

We played through our 2 hours without any incident or any staff approaching us. My arms were aching like a sore tooth and I seemed to be the only one sweating like a pig after the game (further proof of my fitness).

After showering at home, I made my way to Zhongda's house to have my free lunch. Upon reaching, I found Da Jie telling her boyfriend how she had dominated in the morning badminton game and the 2 facts that I can draw from this:

1) Da Jie has a great potential to be a story teller, albeit a very untruthful one
2) Whatever drugs that she had taken earlier on had not worn off yet.

And as we were talking, it turns out that Da Jie did buy back some souvenirs from her trip to Japan a few weeks ago. And these were what she bought.

Who in the right frame of mind would buy cup noodles as souvenirs?

Knowing that we were going to the KTV later, Da Jie got the maid to put those souvenirs in a plastic bag and forced asked me to take them before they expired, wtf lol.

Regardless, I sincerely want to thank Da Jie for getting me something from her trip even if they are something that seemed to be pick up as an afterthought. =.=


P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Some Things You Don't Notice

I have always known that I am not a very observant type of person, I like to daydream whenever I am idle.

I never realized how unobservant I am though, until I got to take the MRT with Hin after we got off from work today.

Now Hin actually belongs to the privilege group of people who happen to own their own transport (a bike in this case). However, due to his bike malfunctioning the night before, he was forced to take the public transport (in this case, the MRT) with the rest of us commoners.

Being the good friend that I am, I proceeded to teach this newbie of public transport the intricacies of taking the MRT (which includes important stuff such as where and how to tap the EZ-Link card) and so basically this is how the conversation went.

Me: "So you know ah, nowadays MRT dun use the MRT cards liaoz... You have to use an EZ-Link Card instead"

Hin shot me a weird look which I interpreted as amazement for my wealth of knowledge.

Hin: "So you know how many carriages a MRT train have?"

Of course I didn't know the answer to his question, for who would so boliao as to count the carriages?

However, not wanting to appear ignorant in front of this minion of the private transport, I immediately summon up a mental picture of the MRT train and tried to hazard a guess.

Me: "Um... 10 carriages?"

Hin: "No, there are only 6 carriages"

Me: "Don't be stupid lah, the train so long, how can be 6 carriages only?"

Hin though, was adamant that he was right (Which in fact he was. The first thing that we did when the train arrived was to count the number of carriages.)

Apparently he had counted the number of carriages so that he will know which carriage to get on in order for him to be nearest to the escalators when he reached his destination. (For example, if you want to be among the first to reach the elevators at Jurong East MRT station from Queenstown MRT station, you should board the 3rd carriage from the last)

As he yada-ed on about his 'Guide on Getting off The Train and Being the First In Line For The Escalators', I was left wondering why different people seem to notice different things when they are in the same scenario.

For me, whenever I am on the train, the only thing that I will take note of is whether there are any pretty girls nearby or not, whereas Hin seems to be only taking note of how he can cut short his traveling time.

2 possible facts that I can derive from this.

1) I am a cool guy who wants to make my traveling time as enjoyable as possible by seeking out eye candies to soothe the monotony of taking the MRT and also that Hin is a calculative elitist of the private transport faction who just wants to spend as little time possible breathing in the same air as us peasants while being stuck in the demeaning public transport.

2) I am just plain unobservant.

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

稻香 - Jay Zhou's New Song

Jay Zhou's new song! Can't wait for the album to come out... damn~

Funny Post By The Great Sze

Was doing some random surfing sometime ago when I came across this very funny post by The Great Sze. So here it is in its entirety, lifted straight from his blog.

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Why Girls' Blog More Popular than Boys' Blog in Singapore

The premise for today is: Girls' blog is more popular than boys' blog, at least in Singapore.

The premise for today is deliberately written in poor English, but I am too insecure to just let it stand there on its own without this qualifier.

Next, we move on to our primary inquiry for today: WHY is girls' blog more popular than boys' blog in Singapore?

I venture a few answers.

1. Girls' blog got more pictures

In general, any old boy will start a blog. If he has interest in Gundam, he will start a blog showcasing Gundam. If he has interest in leapfrogging iguanas, he will start a blog showcasing leapfrogging iguanas etc etc.

A girl will start a blog if she thinks she is pretty.

Then she will put many many many picture of herself on the blog. I am not insinuating that these think-they-are-pretty girls have nothing of worth to say. They have probably, however, done a cost-benefit analysis: if I have to type something, it will require effort, and time, and creativity. But if I put a picture of myself up, the process is relatively instantaneous, AND at the same time I can get external validation of my physical appearance!

So in the interests of minimum effort, maximum results, these think-they-are-pretty girls put up photos of themselves.

There is of course a sub-group of ugly but articulate girls. These girls' blogs, you will notice, are very unpopular. People don't really read the text on blogs; least of all, people do not want to read what ugly people have to say. If you are still reading this entry, thank you, you're quite good looking yourself too.

Then finally there is the amazing mind-blowing sub-group of PRETTY and ARTICULATE girls. These like giant pearl in big ocean with only 2 oysters.

In any case, from my extensive field surveys, I come to the conclusion that both boys and girls ogle girl photos, but boy photos are seldom ogled. Boys will of course not ogle other boys, ours being a very correct heterosexual nation. And girls will never admit to ogling boys. Even in front of the computer screen girls will only look at boy photo out of the corner of their eye, and then look away and pretend to be inspecting toenail. Like that who will read boys blog? The boys all think "Haiyah this guy is a pussy", and the girls keep averting their eyes from the computer screen. Gone case already.

Furthermore, local boys are ugly. This is actually not my opinion. I have very low standards, I think local boys are OK. But a lot of my "too-cool-for-school" peers like to have a go at local boys. So this is the prevalent mindset, and the girls think so too. Girls come from this planet where everyone looks like Kwon Sang Woo, so we cannot blame them. In fact we should be grateful they have not all died off as a result of sexual frustration.

2. Girls write better

Supposedly girls have more powerful language skills than boys. Last time when we were all killing Shredder and Krang with Splinter, girls were busy reading dictionaries. As a result today girls can all speak very well. This makes for easier, more therapeutic reading. Also some people I know, when they read girls' blog, they imagine the girl whispering the words into their ear. This is something that cannot be done for boys' blog.

3. Girls have a lot more to talk about

Girls live to communicate, to be in harmony, to synchronize periods. Boys just want to kill each other. Apart from giving us an insight into the average intelligence of each gender, this fact also results in girls' blogs being more interesting. Let us say, the same thing happens to a boy and girl: some old aunty cut the queue of the blogger at the hawker centre.

*

GIRL: I am so pissed! Today I was lining up to buy my favourite char kway teow at Ghim Moh (Ghim Moh PWNZ Newton!! Nyahhhh!):

(insert picture of girl lining up)

(insert picture of girl sticking tongue out and lining up)

(insert shaky self-taken picture of girl and photographer)

Then you know what happen?? This AUNTY came and pretend not to see me! And then she CUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!

(insert picture of aunty's rear profile)

(insert picture of girl's hand making dirty sign at aunty's rear profile)

*RAWR* I was, like, totally going to let her have a piece of my mind lah! And den my darling (insert ridiculous idiotic sweetytalk name here) told me to keep cool. I only managed to hold it in!! *RAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR*

*pouts* Am feeling grumpy now. The char kway teow tasted lousier! I am sure that aunty's bad aura tainted it!

*

BOY: Nabe todae lao cheebye cut mi Q.

4. Girls readily post comments on other girls' blogs; nobody comments on boys' blogs

A blog that no one comments on is a lousy, unpopular blog.

This point is actually linked to the above one. Girls live to communicate, so they will readily affirm/encourage/support their friends' (or even strangers') blogs. Comments like "you go girl!" and "that's so pretty!!! you always manage to look good in whatever you wear!!" fall like locusts fall from heaven every time a girly blog is concerned. Contrast with boys' blog: nobody comments. or if they do, it usually is of the 1D10+1c l337 5p34k variety.

The reason for non-commenting on boys' blog is straightforward. Boys will not comment on other boys' blog, because the whole aim of existing as a boy is to kill other boys (and to make Gundam). You do not talk to your prey. You just look at their blogs and scoff at them, observe their living patterns and then stake them out for the final kill.

Girls, on the other hand, will not comment on boys' blog because if a GIRL comments on a BOY'S blog, it is damn BO SEI!!! Then everyone will think the girl like the boy! How can like that! Cannot cannot! Girl must sit at home surrounded by flower and spray perfume, staring at her Kwon Sang Woo poster and then one day the boy will show up at her doorstep and ask her to do housework for him. Only THEN can she say "Yes, I really wanted to comment on your blog but I was too shy!"

5. Girls have nehnehpok

I don't really know how to articulate this point. But it feels relevant, somehow.


P.S.
This post was lifted directly from the blog of The Great Sze's November 26th 2006 Posting.

Healthy Lifestyle Part 2

The walk-in interview for the dream job is on again tomorrow. Sad to say though, I will not be going for I haven't got an ounce of confidence that I can pass.

I had skipped the last month walk-in also, because I felt that I was not ready then.

I am still not ready now. The past month have flitted by, without me having done a single thing to improve myself and my chances.

I have stated numerous times before that I feel stifled in my job. It is not just because the work is frustrating and hard, but it's more that I am feeling conflicted and unequal to the job I have to do.

But knowing that I will not stay in this job for long, I could not help but wonder why I have done nothing thus far to secure that dream job.

The passport size photos that I have taken last month for my resume is damn crappy, my hair is messy and my complexion rotten. Basically, I, look and feel like shit.

I am very determined though, that by the next dream job interview(or the next, next interview), I will get my complexion cleared up, a nicer hair cut and a very handsome, digitally enhanced resume photo.

Now, some of you might have known of the Healthy Lifestyle plan that I had made in the month of June. That plan, has sadly fizzled out within 2 weeks of being conceived due to a lack of resolve and some unforeseen circumstances that have cropped up at work.

This time around, I will make it work and thereby, hopefully increasing my chance of making a career switch.

Now I can only hope that Zan's complexion clearing ways can work for me also.