Nonsensical Ramblings

Diving Trip - Pulau Aur

2011-04-27T21:59:00.004+08:00

Despite the fact that swimming to me is what running is to fishes, I managed to complete my PADI Open Water Dive.

I must say though, even at the risk of sounding like I am singing my own praises, that it takes a man with great courage to attempt diving when he cannot even tread water.

And so April 8th found us at the doors of Deep Blue Scuba where we checked our equipments and waited for the bus to fetch us up to Mersing and from there, onwards to Pulau Aur.

Initially, our Open Water Dive is supposed to be on the 26th of March but due to high waves and bad weather conditions, the dive trip was postponed for 3 weeks. As our pool session was more than a month ago, I was abit apprehensive on whether I can still recall the basics of diving.

I do not want to give a blow by blow account of what happened during the dive though because that would have included much too many embarrassing details than I wished to let known.

Therefore, what I will do instead, will be to list down the four important things that I have learned during this expensive trip down to Pulau Aur.

1 - The fishes eat almost anything

Our Diver's Lodge at Pulau Aur is actually built on the overhanging ledges of a cliff. The cookhouse of the lodge is built on those wooden platforms that are supported by stilts over the shallow waters of the sea. As the water in Pulau Aur is really quite clear, we can see the fishes swimming just below the cookhouse eagerly waiting for their food. These fishes are actually the rubbish bins for the leftover food. And so every mealtime, Eilleen will happily play Lady bountiful and empty her half eaten (as usual) plate of food into the sea and gleefully watched as the fishes fought over her leftovers.

The in-charge of the lodge then helpfully informed us that the fishes eat almost all kinds of leftovers except for egg shells. I was left to wonder what would happen if Eilleen dropped into the sea while trying to empty her plate.

2 - Fishes, regardless of how small they are, bite

We were diving from the platform and I was having quite alot of trouble with my bouyancy. I either have too much bouyancy or too little. It did not help that my tank kept slipping off from my Bouyancy Control Device and my instructor had to strap it back on while we are in the water.

Having bad bouyancy control is not a fun thing. You will either find yourself floating to the surface or sinking to the bottom when you are supposed to be hovering above the seabed. I landed on the coral reef and found out that fishes are actually -fiercely- territorial when they swarmed out to take a bite out of me (actually, they were targetting Eilleen more, which goes to show that fishes can tell bad people from good).

Our instructor, however, keeps insisting that the fishes don't bite and that they were just 'bumping' against us. I beg to differ though as judging from the bite marks on Eilleen's arms and legs, those fishes definitely do bite. Actually, the way Eilleen tells it, it would seem that we were attacked by a horde of piranhas instead of a few cute fishes that were barely bigger than the size of our palms.

3 - You can get sea sick from diving

Prior to being actually able to dive, we have to endure 4 hours or so on the bus and this was followed by another 4-5 hours on the ferry before we reach the diver's lodge. But these pales in comparison to being bobbed about on the sea surface as I hugged the safety buoy and waited for my fellow diver to descend and ascend.

The whole world seemed to be spinning when I got up from my 2nd dive and I vomitted once I got back to the room. I did not know that sea-sickness can last for hours as the world keeps spinning well past dinner time. Some people are just not made for diving, and at this point of time, I am thinking that I am one of them.

4 - The Oxygen Tank is really Heavy

The tank becomes really heavy when we were trying to climb back to the platform or the boat after our dives. I had little problem climbing back to the platform though, and I had fun watching Eilleen struggled up the platform. With the tank behind her, she does a really good impression of a sea turtle :)

All in all, I felt really crappy throughout the diving trip as I spent most of the time trying to keep my food in my stomach and the world from spinning. The only time I had fun was when we went out to the sea to dive and saw schools of fishes swimming around us.

Despite all that, I am still amiable to going diving again, if my finances allows for it :(

I Do Not Do Stupid Things

2011-01-25T23:44:00.006+08:00

Someone seems to have the mistaken impression that I am only capable of doing stupid things.

This post is of course, to clear the misconception.

I could talk about the time when I helped an old lady cross the road or the time I single-handedly foiled a bank robbery, or even that time when I stopped the assassination of a high ranking minister but I won't.

I never believe in blowing my own trumpet and also, I do not want to write anything that the average Joes who read my blog cannot emphasize with.

So here are some of the more mundane and non-stupid stuff in my life that people can identify with.

Muay Thai

I have always wanted to learn Muay Thai and in fact, it was one of my last year resolution. I have always been a laid back person and I figured that the reason why my life was so boring is that I am lacking aggression.

That is why I plonked down a thousand bucks for my Muay Thai classes and am so damn broke now.

That is also why the grass patches around my HDB are getting bald.

I am glad to say though that Muay Thai seems to be helping in increasing my aggression. Nowadays, I have to control my urge not to punch and kick people.

One thing bad about Muay Thai though, is that the sandbags are really hard...

I love kicking Sandbags because they don't kick back! Or do they...

Really really hard.

So I was really happy when the instructor invited me to try kicking his thighs. It will be a welcome change from kicking unyielding sandbags or so I thought.

I was so wrong though.

Kicking the instructor's thigh was like hitting a concrete wall. The harder I kick, the more pain I felt.

The one time that the instructor nonchalently kick my thigh though had me feeling like I was hit by a baseball bat.

But that is OK, for pain = fun and More Pain = More Fun.

Wake boarding

I am a really bad swimmer and I have absolutely no idea why I am into water sports. I am sure that stupidity has got nothing to do with it though.

It all started when my workplace offered a heavily subsidised wake boarding trip at Marina. I went for it and was convinced that I was a talented wake boarder when I managed to gain my balance on my 3rd or 4th try.

Raw Talent Is A Sight To Behold

High on my success, I stupidly agreed when Azmi invited me for cable ski wake boarding in Batam. Cable Ski wake boarding is very different from Boat wake boarding though and I spent that whole day drinking lake water.

The 3rd wake boarding trip to batam was fun and really rewarding though. I managed to gain my balance finally after some unintentional motivation from Eilleen. Sadly though, she stopped motivating me after I reached the number 2 sign board of the wake boarding circuit.

I had fun watching her hit the water though. Her determination is commendable though. She keeps going back in the line for her chance to charge back into the lake water no matter how many times she falls. I think she likes pain, and I no longer wonder why she likes it when I whack her head :)

Open Water Diving

As I've said, I am a poor swimmer. I do not lack courage though and I've always wanted to try diving.

There are of course, more compelling reasons why I signed up for the open water diving course but I will not be mentioning them here.

I am not suicidal though, so I will be going to practice my swimming at the nice neighborhood pool in a couple of hours time.

There are a lot more examples that show I can do non stupid things but I have to stop here and go to sleep if I do not want to drown at the pool in a few hours time.

Till next time!

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings. I will like to state again though, that I am not stupid and never was.

Basics Of Wriggling - Lesson One (Original)

2011-01-24T23:05:00.007+08:00

A week or two ago, a friend of mine had trouble getting out from under her blanket for work.

Being the kind generous friend I was, I took the trouble of putting together the manual (during working hours somemore) for the long lost art of wriggling and imparted it to her.

However, although she looks like a brooding intellectual type, it seems that her understanding of this basic but powerful technique is really limited.

So here is the manual again, in the hopes that one day she might be enlightened enough to master this useful art.

This is you laying in the bed, early in the morning, under the blanket. However, in order for you to properly see the technique, the blanket will not be drawn.

Step 1 - Shift

This is the first step in the technique of basic wriggling. It is a simple step to master. Basically, you just have to lift your butt slightly off the bed and shift it to the right. If performed correctly, only your butt will move while the rest of your body remain in stasis.

Step 2 - Movement

Next, you just have to shift your butt back to the left. This time however, your butt should be in contact with the bed. The friction between your cute butt and the bed will act as the force to move your body to the right. The point to take note here is that the direction of your butt movement will propel your body in the OPPOSITE direction.

Step 3 - Repeat

The last step of this technique just requires you to keep repeating step 1 and 2 until you get off your bed.

Practice this diligently, and you will never find yourself unable to get out under the blanket again :)

In this illustration, you will end up on the right side of the bed. The fall from your bed to the floor might be abit painful though.

The technique is by no means limited to usage on the bed. Feel free to use it to get to the toilet if you want to.

Take note the left and right side of this illustration might be abit confusing.

That is why I have included it in the illustration to make it easier for you.

P/S If you prefer to get get out from the right side of the bed, just reverse the direction of the movement.

The Year Is Ending

2010-09-15T21:47:00.006+08:00

Time really flies and I guess you can tell from my lack of posting, that my resolutions are not really progressing that well.

But that is not to say that I have not made efforts into fulfilling those resolutions.

I've made a weight gain of perhaps 1-2kg, which hopefully are all muscles and not fat.

I've attended a muay thai free trial and I am quite determined to start the lessons before November ends and this is in spite of the hefty $250 lesson fees.

I've forgotten what little I have learnt on playing the guitar. I seriously suspect that I have no talent for musical instruments and I guess that kinda ended my far-fetch dreams of joining a band.

My spoken english was no better despite great efforts spent emoting to english mtvs which led me to suspect that this is not a really good way to improve my english.

The nearest of which I have gone to the swimming pool is to the food stall at CCK stadium. I still cannot swim to save my life.

Truth to tell though, I am coming to the realization that I could not possibly complete all the resolutions that I've set due to time, money and willpower constraints, therefore, I will just keep an open mind on learning new things and just keep learning whatever I can.

I read somewhere that life would have been more smooth sailing if one is less self conscious and I realize that many times, I care too much about how others see me to truly enjoy what I am doing. Its like when you are singing in the KTV and you refrain from screaming out when singing (even though you really feel like doing so) because you are afraid to look stupid when you go out of tune or some shit like that.

I think it will be stupid to live my life not daring to do something that I might enjoy just becuase it might make me look uncool.

So, in an attempt to make myself less self conscious, I am putting myself into situations in which I will look stupid. This is why I have signed up for a Jazz introduction dance class even though I am born with two left foot.

My last resolution for the year. To be able to laugh at myself when others are laughing at me :)

I will have to give up my dark, cool and brooding image to do that though, hahahaha.

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

New Year Resolutions

2010-03-09T23:05:00.007+08:00

I know I've said it before, but it is really getting harder and harder to blog, for nothing interesting is happening in my life and from what I noticed, most of my friends are not blogging much anymore, maybe because people our age are mostly too busy to blog (yeah right).

So, in a bid to save my poor dying blog I've decided to put down my resolutions for the year.

I know its a little late for new year resolutions and I am a little disadvantaged here, considering that it is now March and I have only 3/4 of the year to follow up with my resolutions.

But anyways here's my resolutions for the year:
1) Gain at least 3kg weight (Muscles, not Fat)
2) Learn Muay Thai
3) Learn the Guitar
4) Improve my spoken English
5) Improve on my swimming so that I can at least swim 1 lap =.=
6) Go for Diving lessons -if- I can manage to improve on my swimming
7) Blog at least once per week about my resolutions so that I am at least abit motivated to carry them out. This is call having a PLAN... I think....

Now I will have to make sure that there are at least some friends reading my near dead blog just so they can nag at me when I am too lazy to carry out any of the resolutions.

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Besides boring you people with my 'lofty' aspirations for the year, I would also like to recommend Junjie's blog to everyone who is still reading my boring blog.

Junjie was one of my fellow sergeant while I was serving my NS. My impression of him is someone who always try to stick to his values in life and a person who always try to give his best in whatever he is doing. He is also very friendly and hardworking but his most notable trait is his honesty which is evident in this very truthful post about me, hahaha.

But seriously, unlike me, Junjie is someone who fills his time with interesting hobbies such as hiking, photography, fishing, wushu (i think) and most recently latin dancing.

What I really admire about Junjie though, is his can-do spirit. Once he decided to do something, he will just go ahead and do it, which again is very unlike me who can spend like forever procrastinating.

P.S. I think Junjie's blog might be in hibernation, seems like he have not updated his blog for a month now.

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I bought her a present for her birthday and gave it to her nonchalently.

I also got her a charm, which I hope will be of some help... despite the fact that I am an atheist who isn't supposed to believe superstitious shit like that.

But anyways, I've been doing some thinking lately.

Maybe liking someone does'nt necessary mean that you have to be together.

Maybe liking someone is just wanting the best for her.

Maybe I am just a wimp.

Most probably though, the best thing for her isn't me and so that's why I will be keeping my distance.

Enough of this emo shit already.

Go watch some Peter Chao and chao outside mutherfukers.

P.S. I think I am slowly getting my nonsense back. So anything that might be insulting/offensive to anyone should be treated, as always, the nonsensical ramblings of the author.

As Long As She Is Happy

2009-12-16T23:20:00.002+08:00

I ordered Macdonalds again today... Its wierd to be anti-social and yet feel lonely.

Alone without Transport

2009-12-15T21:46:00.003+08:00

I got off work and found myself alone at the staff quarters.

I was shitting when Ben sent me an sms asking whether I want to go for a run. Seriously, Ben is under quite abit of bad influence from his girlfriend... he is slowly turning into a health freak.

Having nothing better to do, I agreed to the run (actually, I tried to say no... but peer pressure is hard to withstand)

I should have known better though. I felt extremely shitty after the run. What's worse is that I have no transport now and the place that I am staying in is so far away from civilisation that it might as well be at the peak of the Himalayans, I would probably starve to death if I have to walk to the bus stop and then take the bus to changi village or downtown east and back.

Not exactly an enticing option considering that my legs were still aching from the run and so to save myself from such a fate, I decided to call for MacDelivery.

I finally realized how ulu my place is when the Macdonald operator told me that I needed to wait 1hr and 15 minutes for the delivery to reach me.

Dad Tried to Crush A Lorry With His Toyota Altis

2009-12-14T23:26:00.005+08:00

Sad to say, the lorry won and now the bonnet of my dad's car resembles nothing so much as a crumpled piece of paper.

Luckily though, no one was hurt in the accident and I am actually quite amazed that my dad is still able to drive his car back home, a testmonial to the marvel of the Japanese engineering.

Dad's car is now in the repair shop and it will be at least one week before the repairs are done.

And as my quarters is a 10 minutes walk from the workplace, I loaned my car to my dad to drive for this week. I have to say though, after driving for around 4 months now, I feel wierdly crippled without my car.

Let's just hope I can survive one week without my car.

=============================================

I can easily buy a present for a girl whom I don't like... but why do I think so much on whether or not to buy a present for a girl whom I like?

I Should Just Switch To Twiitering

2009-12-12T22:50:00.002+08:00

I went back to the staff quarters and found my fan in Senthil's bedroom.

I bought a table from Ikea for my laptop but didn't realise that I have no screw driver to fix it up and so I am blogging on the floor and my neck hurts.

And damn... I ran out of things to write.

Singapore Flyer

2009-09-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

One month ago, I was ecastatic about getting the free tickets for the Singapore Flyer from the workplace.

There is only one free ticket (which allows free entry for 4 pax) per day and considering that there are around 2000 staff in my workplace, the ticket is pretty damn hard to get.

I was bored after the initial 10 minutes inside the Flyer.

There were really nothing much to see, the casino resort is still under the construction and the Formula One tracks are real boring as there isn't a F1 race going on.

If I have paid for the tickets I would have been damn sad for the experience is definitely not worth the almost $30 entry fees.

The crab that we had for dinner at the restaurant below the Singapore Flyer was quite nice though despite the exorbitant price and the high amount of MSG they must have added (I was real thirsty while we were on the Flyer)

P.S. If any of my colleagues happen to read this, don't, I repeat -Don't- get the Singapore Flyer ticket. Any of the free tickets (yes, even the Science Centre ticket) would have been more fun.

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Before I left the house for the Singapore Flyer, I was talking to Ajipu about her msn comment that Guys like to give out girls' numbers to other guys but somehow or other the conversation lead to the movie Phobia 2.

She send me a link to the trailer of the movie and damn, the trailer was scary enough that I don't think I would be watching it.

The worse part was the story about the haunted 2nd hand car.

I am driving a 2nd hand car and I am now unable to drive alone after dark.

I think Ajipu is really really evil...

To the guy who gave Ajipu's number to another guy, God Bless you... Think you need it. God Bless the other guy too...

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings. Also, I am now unable to post about anything funny for I seemed to have misplaced my sense of humor. Please bear with me while I try to find it back.

The 2nd Trip to Malaysia

2009-09-14T21:29:00.013+08:00

The last time I went to Malaysia, the immigration officer over at Malaysia side had wanted me to change my passport photo.

I figured that he (the immigration officer) was fishing for bribes, for he was making disparaging 'tsking' sounds and making exaggerated expressions of disbelief over the disparity between me and my passport photo.

I feigned ignorance at his Oscar worthy performance, he wrote the words 'Change Photo (Final)' on my passport.

That was last Friday.

And I had jio-ed Zhongda and Alan for a trip to Malaysia for a KTV scream our lungs out session today.

I could have tried to wing it past the immigration but being detained by the Malaysian immigration for an outdated passport photo would have sucked.

Imagine being in a prison cell where all your fellow detainees are murderers, rapists and robbers and you are in there because you look like a nerdy motherfucker (pardon the language, but I have been watching too much Peter Chao on Youtube) in your goddamn passport photo.

It will be almost like that guy who was arrested for rubbing shit on a building.

So, to save myself from such a fate, I came up with two plans to get myself across the causeway.

PLAN A : Go to the ICA building early in the morning to change my passport photo.

PLAN B : Prepare around RM10-20 to 'convince' the Malaysian immigration officer to let me pass.

After picking up Zhongda and Alan at around 7am, I made my way to the ICA building.

The morning traffic was horrendous but the worse part was when I have to pass through 2 ERP gantries. Its kinda ironic to be paying for something that is supposed to ease the traffic while being stuck in the traffic.

When I reached the ICA building, I was informed by the officer that there are no longer photo renewal services, instead I have to pay $70-$80 bucks for a new biometric passport and I would have to wait around 3 days for the passport to be ready, the worse thing was, I looked real shitty in my new passport photo.

As Plan A had failed miserably, I had no choice but to proceed with Plan B if we are going to get to Malaysia today.

I folded a RM10 bill into a small piece and left it at my car's side holder for easy access. As I reached the Malaysian side of the custom, I cursed inwardly when I saw that the immigration officer is a girl, for the female race are notorious for working by the book.

I hold my folded RM10 in my right hand, unsure of whether to pass it to her.

But the immigration did not seemed to sense my indecisiveness and this is how the conversation went.

Immigration Officer : Hey, your passport photo must change ah, why you never change?

Me : Um... I just went to change it but it will not be ready so soon.

And then I tried my best grin on her, but I have been told often by my sister that my best grin makes me look like an idiot and that might be the reason why the officer let us pass...

Immigration Officer : Ok... but next time must change ah!

Me : Thank you, Thank you!

We reached Jusco Tebrau City at around 1140am and we proceeded almost immediately to Redbox (their equivalent to Singapore's Kbox) for our KTV session.

We sang from 12pm to 3:30pm and it cost us around RM 15 each.

Basically the quality is about the same as Kbox but the funny thing is that the Redbox has more english songs selection than Kbox, which is kinda funny, for isn't Singapore supposed to be a English speaking country? Get More English songs, Kbox!

After the KTV, we went to watch the movie 'The Ugly Truth' and I have to say that the movie was one of the best movie that I have watched this year.

The jokes are funny, the female lead is damn pretty and the male lead is a bloke... what is there not to like? The movie is M18 though but it is more because of its sexual reference than because of any nudity. We were laughing from the beginning of the movie to the end.

When the movie ended, we had our dinner at the Manhattan's Fish Market before heading back to Singapore.

Cost of the Trip:

To pass through the Woodlands Custom : $1.50

To pass through the Malaysia Custom : RM2

Parking at Jusco : RM1

KTV : RM15

Movie : RM11

Dinner : RM30

Petrol : RM30

Total : RM89 + $1.50

Considering that the exchange rate is about 2.4 and that if we had done the exact same thing in Singapore, it would have cost us around $100 also, this trip is really not that expensive.

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings. Also, I am now unable to post about anything funny for I seemed to have misplaced my sense of humor. Please bear with me while I try to find it back.

Back From Hibernation

2009-09-13T20:10:00.002+08:00

One thing I've discovered.

The longer it is since you last posted, the harder it is to find the motivation to post.

So to get the ball rolling again, here's some updates.

1) My workplace is now at Changi.

2) My application for staff quarters was approved but there are no more vacancies, so I have to travel from Choa Chu Kang to Changi 5 days a week.

2) I went to my first ever concert 2-3 weeks ago. It was a Mayday concert. It rocked but my ear drums was perforated I think.

3) I got my driving license around 1 month ago.

4) I got my 'new' 2nd hand car 3 weeks ago.

5) My car hit the kerb 4 days ago.

6) I discovered how expensive it is to own a car.

7) I suck real bad at road directions, if one day my GPS stops working I will have to take urgent leave from work.

8) I've been dragged by Alan to register for the Nike Human Race. I still cannot believe that I am actually paying money to run...

9) I drove to Malaysia for the first time with my Sis last week. I have to say, my sister is either very courageous or she has great trust in my driving skills. I chose to believe in the latter.

10) I find myself unable to think up of point number 10 and so I shall end here :)

Introducing, the Hybrid Worm Cat

2009-04-21T22:38:00.001+08:00

Driving Lessons, Cars and the Curious Case Of Dajie Button

2009-04-17T23:35:00.008+08:00

My initial plan was to book my practical test somewhere in June so that I would still have time for a retest in the very unlikely event that I fail to pass in my first try.

My workplace is moving from Queenstown in Changi in August. If I did not get my own transport before then and if my application for the staff quarters in Changi is rejected, 1/6 of my life will be spend travelling to and fro the workplace.

This was the reason why I had squeezed in 4 driving lessons per week even though it is damn fucking tiring.

Unfortunately though, I did not know that I have to pass my Final theory test first before I can even book my practical test. I really do hate my stupidity sometimes.

So my Final theory test was booked for the 8th May and that was when I found out that I have to pass the Final theory evaluation test before I can even attempt the final theory test.

And before I can take the practical test, I have to pass through Basic theory lessons 1.01, 1.02 and Final theory lessons 1.01, 1.02.

In short, it is damn troublesome.

However, I begin to see why there was a need for the evaluation when I failed it today :(

I had went for the evaluation confidently after spending 30 minutes browsing through the advance theory book.

After all, I had went through 18 practical driving lessons and I should know enough about driving to pass some stupid theory test right?

Sadly though I got only 39 out of 50, 6 marks short of the passing rate.

That is why I am going back to BBDC at 8am tomorrow.

The schedule for tomorrow.

8am - 940am : Final Theory Lesson 1.02

950am - 1130 am: Final Theory Lesson 1.01

1135am - 1230pm : Final Theory Practice

1230 - 1305 : Final Theory Evaluation -again-

As you can see, I will be well prepared this time s o bring it on stupid theory tests.

I am not afraid.

Really... :(

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Regarding the issue about getting my own transport, I had deliberated long and hard between a brand new car or a 2nd hand car.

I am still considering whether I want to buy a car, but if I really went for it, I am now leaning more towards buying a brand new car.

This is partly due to the price drop in COE which makes new car more affordable and partly due to some comments by Da Jie.

1-2 weeks ago, it was around 1720pm and I had just finished my after work jog and a workout session at the state of the art gym. I was checking my handphone for any miss calls or messages when I saw this miscall from Da Jie.

For those of you who don't know, Da Jie only ever calls me in the rare event that she lacks enough people to play Mahjung.

Now, after Weijie and gang ruthlessly ended my 7 streak winning at Mahjung, I seemed to be in a feng du bi shu mode. That is, I am now losing every Mahjung game that I played.

So, I half-heartedly send back an sms to Da Jie and this is how the conversation went.

Me : Eh You called ah

Da Jie : Ya Lar.. Now den u call reply... chey

Me : Haha I cannot play mj

Me : No money to lose

Da Jie : Y?

Da Jie : Eh... Where is ur 10k

Me : Duhz nxt year den get la... U want to contribute to my honda civic fund?

Da Jie : Siao. Dun buy 2nd hand, later u need more fund to repair...

Me : Haha den can lend me 20k? Coz first hand thirty thousand more exp

Da Jie : U go buy from parallel importer la... Dun need so much cash..

Me : Haiz nvm let me get license first den u buy car i help u drive?

Me : Eh I go shower le nxt time got mj call earlier kay? Nowadays before elven I slp le

Da Jie : Wei.. I know y u never get selected for sq interview ler. Cos u not gay. I jus did a flt wif a junior steward. His face alot of pimples. Even andy, my bf oso wondering how come he steward. He is gay. So we all believe tat's how he got into sq. U buy car guan wo she mer shi??

Me : Lolz den I muz go practice my gayness le I buy car can um.... Chauffeur ur brother arnd ah den can go ur hse help u water plants also

Da Jie : Siao.. Tos plants live or die non of my business.. chauffeur my bro? Dun waste time lar. He can use his legs to walk anywhere for all he wan. Take bus oso too much for him lor.

Side Note: Zda... don't be disheartened that your sis is so evil... My sis also like tat...

Me : kns u r a evil sister lucky I not ur brother

Da Jie : Chey!! 10 thousand ppl q-ing to be my bro lor..

Me : Wahz got so many stupid people in the world ah.... ask each of them contribute 3 dollars to my honda civic fund den i can buy car le

Da Jie : Siao.. U think anyone oso can b my bro meh? U buying new car ar?

Me : Haha yeah horz want to be ur bro muz have high tolerance level no wonder zda always look so tired or sad.. And no la new car I can only afford picanto and tat car not cool at all

Da Jie : Dunno y my bf advise u to get 2nd hand car...

Da Jie : Zda appear sad cos I'm not ard him... He misses me..

Me : Haha he more clever bahz

Da Jie : Stupid lor... 2nd hand smelly.

Me : Um... Actually only when u not arnd he looks happy... U never notice mehz everytime he play mj wif u either is want to slp or want to cry like tat

Da Jie : No lor... I think mayb he gan dong tat's y he look as tho he wan to cry.. he very silly..

Me : Eh and 2nd hand car where got smelly... only rich people think like tat

Da Jie : Smelly.. The last owner got farted in the car before..

Me : Nvm I smell nice so can cover the fart smell

Da Jie : I think ur nose got some prob.. If this is the case mayb getting old car is not a prob for u..

Me : pui

So that is why I am aiming for either a brand new Hyundai Avante or the new Kia Cerato Forte instead of the 2nd hand Honda Civic if I am buying a car.

For now, whenever I think of 2nd cars, I am haunted by the images of the green tendrils of smoke that are the lingering farts of their previous owner...

Anyone knows if I can sue for psychological scarring?

More on Da Jie though...

For people who have watched the movie, the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I have not watched that movie personally but I know its about someone who gets younger as he ages.

The same kinda holds true for Da Jie also...

As most of us gets progressively more matured as we aged, Da Jie seemed to get... how shall I say it? More um... ~~childish~~ I mean childlike...

This is evident from the sms that was sent from Zda's hand phone the day after we had the 2nd hand car conversation.

Zda : My sis is e best. I love her.

Me : wtf

Zda : U idiot

Me : Lol dajie u very old le can be matured abit and stop using zda phone or not?

Zda : U stupid donkey

Then I decided to humor Da Jie by sending her this sms.

Me to Dajie : Hey dajie ur right! ur brother really loves u! He juz sent me a msg to tell me sia

Da Jie : See I told u :)

Me : Lol u r so lucky sia... Ur so weird yet ur siblings love u

Da Jie : pui

I think that when Da Jie gets married and have children, Andy being the only matured parental figure around, might be in for a hard time.

And seeing as how Da Jie's maturity seems to decrease with age, the children could end up being more matured than the mother =.=

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

The State of the Art Gym

2009-04-12T18:53:00.008+08:00

As promised, the photos of the workplace state of the art gym.

The Gym

The rusty benchpress

Bicycles!

As you can see, the ambiance of the gym is pretty nice.

The trees and the dappled sunlight gives an illusion of being close to nature while you are working out.

The hordes of mosquitoes also helps to test your endurance and perseverance, but like I said before, I am a man of iron will :)

The strange thing though is that I am usually the only one using the gym (despite the fact that is absolutely free) but that is a good also as this means that I do not have to wait for the equipments.

Sadly though, I am no longer able to conveniently utilize this free gym for my shift patterns have changed from the permanent morning to permanent afternoon.

Truth is, I have agreed to the shift change partly because I wanted to avoid her in the morning but I guessed I have not completely thought out what I was agreeing to.

First of all, it is damn fucking hot to be going to work in the afternoon especially in the crazily humid weather. I was sweating buckets by the time I reached the MRT, further reason why I need to get my driving license fast.

Secondly, by agreeing to the afternoon shift, I am relinquishing my entitlement to the breakfast provided by the workplace (people working the afternoon shifts are only provided with lunch whereas people working the morning shift are provided with breakfast -and- lunch)

Granted, the food there usually sucks but seeing how I am scrimping to buy a car, I think I would have stuff down pig feed if it would save me some money.

Thirdly, the free gym at the workplace is no longer enticing when it is contending with the alternatives that are available (such as the air-conditioned, well-equipped, and occasionally eye candies filled gym at Choa Chu Kang Stadium), this is especially so if you have to go to work early in order to use the workplace gym.

Getting attacked by killer mosquitoes before I start work is also not my idea of fun and so, I found myself paying $2.50!! to the Choa Chu Kang Stadium gym every other day.

I have to say though, the weights at CCK gym seemed heavier than those at the workplace gym. I almost killed my self doing the bench press at CCK gym using 40kg weights (20kg at each end).

It was my 3rd set and I had lowered the bar and was unable to find the strength to push them up again and if you had done bench press before, you would know that it is almost impossible to move with the bar weighing down on you.

Luckily though, someone was working out nearby and I had to squeak out at him to help me lift the bar. It was highly embarrassing and so I will not elaborate more on it.

Lastly, working the afternoon shift really leaves me with no life. Although I don't have much of a life to start with, leaving work at around 8pm everyday really sucks. After I had my dinner and reached home, it would be around 930pm.

As I do try to wake up early next morning to go to the gym or to jog, I will try to go to bed before 11pm. I am even skipping my daily Dota sessions to adjust to my new exercising schedule.

I really am a man of iron will :)

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

The 14th Driving Lesson

2009-03-24T21:12:00.004+08:00

I had wanted to blog about my driving lessons since day 1 of my lessons, but somehow I just could not seem to find the mood for blogging this past few months.

So sadly, you guys have missed out on the first few months of the making of the next Lewis Hamilton.

But sad to say, the truth is that I've been recklessly changing lanes, speeding past zebra crossings without noticing that there are pedestrians waiting in trepidation to cross and once almost hit an old man who had suddenly decide to jog across the road.

But all these are past history they say, and also, since all my lessons are taken during the peak hours where there are like a gazillion cars zooming around, you have to credit my superb reflexes and fast learning ability, that me and my driving instructor are still alive.

Today's lessons had me convinced that I am a parallel parking God though. I got in almost perfect at my first try and also for the next 4-5 tries while the pretty girl driving on the opposite side hit the poles almost every time.

My nose must have been up in the air though because the driving instructor looked at me and grinned while saying that my parking was pretty average but still ok, but honestly, I am parking with half my attention focused on the lady driver (who seemed quite determined to destroy the marking poles) on the opposite end.

I believe this proves something about the driving skills between guys and girls.

Side Note:

For the past few months, I have been working on permanent morning or long shift which means my working day will end at around 3pm or 4pm respectively.

And so for these past 3 weeks, where I have around 4 driving lessons a week, I will have around 2 hours to kill before I can leave for my driving lesson.

As I am currently working on my plan to spend at most $20 dollars a day, I have to find something that is free or at the very least cheap to occupy my time.

So, everyday, before my driving lessons, I will spend around 20-30 minutes running and I have to say I have some very siao on colleagues, for if they are running with me I will have spent at least 40 minutes running. We've even ran from the workplace to Dempsy Road and Zouk before =.=

After the run, I will usually spend another 1 hour or so doing static exercises in our very state of the art gym. (Will upload the pics of the gym sometime tomorrow if I am free)

Usually after the workout, my arms and legs will be kind of trembling. And let me tell you, it is definitely very exciting to be learning driving with jelly arms and legs, this is especially so for the driving instructor I guess.

You can guess how exhausting this lifestyle is, especially for a laid back person like me. My day starts when I wake up at 6am and it will be around 830-9pm when I reached home.

However, as you all know, I am a man of iron will, and hopefully soon to be iron abs and iron pecs and so I will continue on this regime of hell even if it kills me...

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Her

2009-03-22T20:32:00.005+08:00

Love is illogical.

For despite knowing that I am not right for this girl (I shall just call her x), I have liked her for years.

And all these years, I have tried to do the right thing and tried to treat her with nonchalance.

I've also tried chasing this other girl just so I can forgot about x and I even got x to help in making a birthday present for this girl I was chasing.

Of course, it didn't work out with this other girl. Maybe she could sense what I am really feeling. I did tried convincing myself that I really liked this other girl and I think that I really did liked her in a way but it just could be that I like x even more.

Actually, I am very apologetic for trying to use this other girl as a platform to forget x and if she ever happen to read this post, I would like to use this opportunity to say sorry to her and that I hope that she and Sam are still happily attached.

I don't really know how to explain it, I am just inexplicably happy when x is around and I found myself asking x for help in things I don't need help with just so that I can be around her.

Truth is, she is the first person I will look for to go on a holiday with, not the last. And I would have waited for her, however long, though I said something to the contrary.

However, an incident happened 2-3 months ago, its a small thing really, but it finally made me realized what I should have known all this while.

I really do not have a place in her life.

If I have been thinking logically, I would have avoided her from the start.

We do not share similar interests nor a mutual group of friends.

The gap between us is too big.

And from what I know, she already has someone she likes. Someone whom she gives cookies to. Someone who gets jealous whenever she is out with other guys.

If love is logical, I should not have liked her.

I am confused, but I think I know what is the correct thing to do and so I did my best to avoid her this past few months, a surprising easy thing to do though I suppose she doesn't even realized I am avoiding her.

Today though, I saw a picture of her with her guy and the good thing I suppose, is that, I am no longer confused.

I should be happy for her I know, but sadly I am not.

Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption.

Should I be like the donkey, forever trying to reach the carrot that is forever dangling out of his reach?

I don't think so. That's why I am removing her from all my contacts.

I will find someone who is just nice for me.

Someday.

I hope.

P.S.

I am not usually this emo and I know I am way past the age of emo-ing.

I also know that this emo shit might sound incoherent, but if you people realized, I have not been blogging for quite some time.

However, I do need to get some of this emo shit out before I can blog again. So just endure this emo crap and yes please, do not ask me any questions.

The 6th Mahjung Session

2009-01-11T23:27:00.003+08:00

I won again! 6 consecutive wins!

Strangely, Zhongda won too... despite overwhelming evidences that there is something between him and the girl code named BZ. Some people have all the luck... :(

English Summary Is Not A Piece Of Cake

2009-01-07T22:04:00.003+08:00

Playing Dota has became an almost nightly ritual for me, and sad to say, it seemed to be my only form of entertainment after work (argh, the curse of being a single antisocial guy).

But while I enjoy playing Dota, I hate playing with strangers over the internet for they quit midgame far too often and cursed/swear too much for my liking.

So, mostly, I will be waiting for enough of my Dota Khakis to come online so that we can have an inhouse game and most of the time while waiting, I will be checking out whether my friends have updated their blogs.

I was browsing through my neighbor's blog when I read her latest post about her having some holiday assignments for her art classes that has not been completed yet. For those of you who do not know, my neighbor is a very talented artist whose specialty lies in painting nightmarish drawings and thus, my interest was piqued when I learnt that she was working on another potential master piece.

And seeing that she was online on msn, I immediately messaged her inquiring about her master piece. It turns out though that she was stuck while doing her English summary (which she claimed was damn hard) instead of working on her art assignment.

Now while I have to admit I am not any good academically (I sucked in both mathematics and science =.=), I being somewhat of a bookworm, have pretty good confidence in my written english.

I being a nice and friendly neighbour that I am, of course offered to help. And as I was also exceedingly kind hearted, I offered to charge her only $10/hour for my tutoring services. She haha-ed my offer but still brought both her english and mathematics homework over.

And as my sister was helping out our neighbor with her mathematics homework, I proceeded to read the English comprehension that she has to summarize.

Now, the comprehension was about trekking in Nepal and apparently, she had to summarize in her own words why people choose to trek in Nepal. There is also the restriction that the summary must be under 150 words.

While I was going through the comprehension, I realized one thing, it -is- really -very- difficult to pick out the important points in the passage and to rephrase them in our own words.

And while we were working hard using the ever trusty Thesaurus to help us convert those points to our 'own' words, I learnt something my English skills, I am better at embellishing and exaggerating then in summarizing. If you read through my posts, you will see that there is actually there is actually very little content hidden under all those nonsense I am crapping about.

By the time we finished her summary (actually it wasn't quite completed, for I was really stumped by it), it was around 11pm and this 45 cents pen was the payment for my effort...

The Pen glowing in holy light...

I sincerely hope that I have not helped my neighbor to fail her English summary...

P.S.
In the course of helping my neighbor do her summary, my neighbor had reminded subtly that I still owed her the sushi I promised to treat her for her birthday. Actually, she was not that subtle, what she said was, 'Hey, you still owe me sushi.'

And of course, as everyone knows that I am a man of my word, I will definitely treat what I owed. In fact, if my brilliant tutelage caused my nice neighbor to fail her English summary, she will be having her sushi at Sushi Tei instead of the 99cents sushi that I was intending to buy her.

Count Down At Siloso Beach

2009-01-02T00:36:00.035+08:00

Being a somewhat antisocial guy, I have never been a fan of countdown parties or any parties for that matter.

The reasons were simple, dancing is anathema to me, I positively dislike crowds and though getting high on alcohol is fun, it is almost always countermanded by the hangover that you get on the next morning.

I was therefore somewhat reluctant to go when Jenn jio-ed us for the Siloso Beach Countdown but Cheewei swept away all my unwillingness to go with two simple words, 'Bikini Babes.'

And so, the morn of new year eve found me, Alan, Guanghui (Alan's friend from school) and Weijie working out feverish in Choa Chu Kang stadium's gym.

From what I know, Guanghui is a regular at Choa Chu Kang gym, Weijie was there for a workout and needless to say, Alan and I were trying desperately to buff our bodies up for the ~~bikini babes~~ countdown but sadly, the last minute workout did nothing for our physique. I resolve to start working out regularly from now on.

After the intense and grueling workout (truth is, it lasted only around 1 hour but felt like 1 year of extreme agony to me) me, Alan and Weijie left for my house where I showered and change after which we left for Alan's house where Alan insisted that we watch the Korean movie, 2 Faces Of My Girlfriend.

Admittedly, the movie was funny and quite touching (I am a sentimental guy alright?) and I was enjoying the show -when- Alan suddenly 'choked' (or claimed to have choked) and sprayed me with the milk tea that he was drinking. I seriously suspect that he is taking revenge on me for winning his money through the Mahjung experiment and I resolve to accidentally 'choke' when I am eating near Alan the next time.

After watching the movie, we left for Lot1 where we shopped for awhile before Weijie left for home while me and Alan left for Vivocity.

The 6 of us, Cheewei, Jenn, Leslie, Alan, Zhongda and me were supposed to meet at Vivocity at 8pm for our dinner before proceeding in to Sentosa but at the last minute, Leslie displayed a very classic case of 重色轻友 when he decided to pang seh us because he was with the girl of his dreams.

Being poor people, the 5 of us sans the pang seh kia then proceeded to have our dinner at the food court in Vivocity.

Spot The Difference!

Murderous Jenn...

After the meal, we proceeded to the supermarket because Jenn wanted to be semi high on alcohol before the party started. We got ourselves some beers but as the beers were not cold, Jenn decided to put the beers inside the Haagen Daaz freezer to chill them, I was the reluctant accomplice who opened the freezer door wtf =.=

After the getting the bottles of beer, we were left standing outside the supermarket wondering how we are to supposed to open the bottle caps without a bottle opener when Alan claimed that he had seen his cousin opening a beer bottle with a key before. The four of us then took out our keys and furiously tried to whack our bottle caps off while Jenn proceeded to pit her teeth against the bottle cap.

Zhongda staring in amazement at our ingenuity of pitting our keys against the bottle caps

A closer view of the battle between the key and the bottle cap

Alan managed to open his bottle with his key, cutting his fingers in the process and Cheewei managed to open his bottle soon after. And as Zhongda and I were still struggling to open our bottles though, Jenn managed to locate a bottle opener at one of the supermarket counters, thereby saving the day and our fingers.

As it was nearing 11pm or so by then, we were in a hurry to get to Sentosa before the countdown starts and so had to drink our beers on the go while we rushed to get on the tram.

The queue leading up to the tram though was even longer than the great wall of china.
Jenn showed why she was the MVP of the day when she unabashedly cut to the front of the queue and mollified the guy who was glowering at her from behind with a smile and then motioned for us to join her.

It could be because guys become idiots when a girl smiles at them or it could be because of the beer bottles that we were holding dangerously in our hands, but somehow, we (I am ashamed to say) successfully cut the queue without much incident, thereby ensuring that we will reach Sentosa before the countdown started.

While waiting for the tram, Cheewei, Zhongda and Alan were still holding on their beer bottles and Jenn once again showed her ruthless efficiency when she took Cheewei's empty beer bottle and hid it behind some potted plants. Zhongda followed suit, Jenn is really leading us astray and I heard Cheewei muttering something about being reported in Stomp as ungracious party goers while Alan tried to hold on to his integrity by holding on to his beer bottle.

Waiting for the tram to arrive

Cheewei covertly taking the photo of the pretty girl behind us in the queue

Inside the Tram

We reached Siloso beach at around 1140pm. There were really lot of hot bikini babes around (but somehow or another, none of us thought to take pictures of them =.= wtf lol). We are pretty hot ourselves (though this mainly due to the crowd and the lack of wind) as we groove, or attempted to groove to the music.

It seems that Jenn is the only one who can dance, but I have to say that girls have it easier when it comes to dancing as they only have to sway to look sexy, whereas for us guys, we look like spastics if we anyhow sway.

As this post is getting absurdly long and I am getting tired of blogging... and also because I am blogging this late on a Saturday night and I am working early tomorrow morning... I shall let the pictures do the talking...

Siloso Beach

The Crowd

The fireworks looks pretty bad... proving that we are no professional photographers

Tired and getting some rest...

And finally... on the way home...

P.S. I know I am missing quite a few details of the count down, but seeing how I've already spent more than 4 hours on this post and also that I have less than 5 hours left to sleep I have to end this abruptly and so a very Happy Belated New Year to everyone (if there is anyone at all) who is reading this blog!

Mashimaro And The Drug Allergy

2008-12-31T23:12:00.006+08:00

Last Friday found me waiting in trepidation at a dental clinic.

It had been almost two years since my last visit to a dentist and I was actually quite worried about the state my teeth was in, given that there was a throbbing pain in one of my wisdom tooth.

I was actually quite relieved when the dentist said that I had kept my teeth in quite a good condition but then he proceeded to tell me that there is a slight decay in my lower right wisdom tooth.

I was given the choice to either extract the tooth or to have some fillings done on it. Given my legendary high threshold to pain, I of course, chose the latter.

And so, after booking an appointment for the tooth filling, I was prescribed (after declaring that I have no drug allergy) some painkillers for my toothache which I took promptly and as it was still early, I happily left for Kinokuniya.

Now, there have been times when I was sadly mistaken about things that I thought I knew.

For example, I have thought I only liked girls who are short and cute but I ended up liking girls who are either taller or almost as tall (or short, depending on how you look at it) as me.

I've thought I could easily end my single-hood status if I wanted, but my first and only attempt at chasing a girl failed miserably. (I've told her I liked her, but she thought I was joking and then she got attached to this other guy :( Seriously, I don't know how the whole chasing girls thing work.)

And... I've always thought that I do not have any drug allergies.

I was browsing through this book called Wizard First Rule by Terry Goodkind while surreptitiously eyeing this very cute girl standing at the bookshelf in front when my eyes started to itch.

As I have always been a man of action, I immediately gave my balls, um... I mean eyeballs a good rubbing.

The reaction was almost instantaneous (no it was not an erection or anything kinky you dumb fucks) I felt my eyes tearing and my nose stuffing up. Sensing that something was definitely amiss, I hastily took the book and proceeded to the counter to pay.

After leaving Kinokuniya, my eyes begin to swell. Tears were streaming freely down my cheeks and I am having some difficulties breathing due to my blocked nose.

Being a very manly man, I was mortified that people will think that I am crying in the public and thus was contemplating taking the taxi and be damned the peak hour charges.

It turned out though that the taxi queue was longer then the great fucking wall of China.

And so, in my desperation to get home, I squeezed myself up bus 190 (bus 190 must have been a bus going through an identity crisis, for it was doing it's best impersonation of a sardine can when I boarded it), struggled to take out my wallet and stretched my right arm to its limit trying to reach past my fellow sardines to tap the ez-link card reader.

As my wallet tapped the ez-link card reader, a Doo Do Lu Do sound rang out, informing the bus driver and nearby commuters that my ez-link card is in fact, out of cash.

There was a moment of silence as the driver and my fellow passengers turned to look at me.

Finding myself the center of attraction, I sniffled to clear my blocked nose and stared dumbly at the bus driver with eyes that can barely open and cheeks that were damp with tears.

I was about to take the $2 bill out from my wallet to pay for my bus fare when the bus driver turned back to face the road and started the bus after saying in a jolly voice, 'Don't need to pay, no money also never mind. Small matter only.'

I was caught halfway between embarrassment and gratefulness but was in too much discomfort to actually care.

Upon reaching home though, my dad was so shocked by my puffy eyes that he immediately drove me to the clinic.

The doctor confirmed that I was allergic to Naproxen Sodium (the painkiller given to me by the dentist), gave me some medicine for the swellings and told me that the swelling should subside by two days.

So basically, this is how I looked with puffy eyes.

This is me after a shower...

This is me, with eyes fully open...

Side view...

While I thought that the smaller eyes made me look like a Korean actor, my stupid sister insisted that I look like Mashimaro, albeit a not so cute one.

This is Mashimaro...

She even wanted to put a toilet plunger on my head so that I can complete the resemblance.

Damn wtf, I could really feel the family warmth that my little sister is emanating...

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Mahjung and Weijie's Theorem

2008-12-13T20:55:00.010+08:00

Recently, Alan, a fellow member of our Single Desperate But Definitely Not Ugly Brotherhood had turned traitor and gotten himself hitched.

Granted, Alan has always been the more active among us when it comes to chasing girls and I have to say that I have always admire his ability to pick himself up after a rejection -but- the more important thing to note here is that Alan is still one of the more enthusiastic Mahjung Khakis around.

Now, Weijie has got this theory, based on some old Chinese sayings that goes something like this, 情场得意赌场失意 (What this means is that people who are lucky in love will be unlucky while gambling and vice versa) and so we decided to celebrate Alan's ~~betrayal~~ loss of singlehood by testing out this theory on him.

The Experiment : Debunking (or hopefully not) The Myth that People Who Are Happily In Love Will Lose Big In Mahjung

The Lucky In Love Test Subject : Alan ~~the Traitor~~

The Not Lucky In Love Participants : Me, Weijie and Zhongda

Test Methodology : Several rounds of Mahjung games spread over a few weeks.

Method of Interpretation:

100% accurate if the test subject is the only one losing.

66% accurate if the test subject and one other participant are losing.

33% accurate if the test subject and two other participants are losing.

0% accurate if the test subject does not or loses very little.

33% inaccurate if the test subject and one other participant wins.

66% inaccurate if the test subject and two other participants wins.

100% inaccurate if the test subject is the only one winning.

After 5 Saturday nights of Mahjung sessions of which I was a reluctant participant, these are the results (Rendition of the events might not be accurate due to my lousy memory):

1st Mahjung Session : The three of us takes great delight in relieving Alan off his money. We are optimistic that the theory is accurate and rejoice in our single-hood.

2nd Mahjung Session: Me and Weijie won. Suspected that Zhongda might have secretly betrayed the Brotherhood and gotten hitched also but having no concrete proof, we have to admit that there is a need for a re-test.

3rd Mahjung Session: Me and Alan won. Either the theory is really inaccurate or that Zhongda has followed Alan's example and turned traitor. We are leaning more towards believing the latter, there were evidences that a girl code named BZ was somehow involved.

4th Mahjung Session: I am the only one winning. Damn... is everyone turning traitor?

5th Mahjung Session: Me and Weijie won again. I am getting scared of my winning streak. Does this mean that my love luck is in the doldrums? If my gambling luck holds, I should really spend all my Mahjung winning on the New Year's Toto and try to get that $10 million.

Number of Win/Session :

Me : 5/5
Weijie : 3/5
Zhongda : 1/5
Alan : 1/5

Conclusion :

Based on the fact that I know for a certainty that I am single and have exactly no love life and also on the assumption that Zhongda has not betrayed the Single Desperate But Definitely Not Ugly Brotherhood, the accuracy of the theory should be as such

(100% + 66% - 33% + 33% + 66%) / 5 = 232/5 = 46.4%

a figure which is neither here nor there... more Mahjung sessions would have to be held to get a more conclusive results. Either that or we need to find more evidence to prove the highly probable fact that Zhongda had also turned traitor.

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Work and Greener Pastures

2008-11-25T22:01:00.017+08:00

I rarely blog about my job because really, there is nothing interesting to blog about.

I don't think that anyone would be interested in reading about incidents where we have to handle aggressive or abusive 'customers' or worse still, 'customers' who like smearing themselves with shit. (No... I am not working in the Institute of Mental Health... even though there are days where some of our 'customers' can really pass off as hardcore psychotic patients)

Also, with me being in the uniform service and this being a very open and public blog, posting about the nature of my work is just a good way for me to be called to the boss office for a talking to, which I don't think I will enjoy very much.

Lastly, as I don't happen to like my current job that much, most of what I will post about the job will sound like endless whining, something which I am sure most of you would have got more than enough from your bfs/gfs and so don't need to get more from my blog.

Truth is, I don't think I am really suited for my job, I am no disciplinarian and I do not really enjoy shouting at or restraining people. I have made no secret about it that I will either leave for a greener pasture (if I can find one) or to further my studies once my bond is up.

But lately, it seemed that work is getting more endurable. I have just been posted to a more relax designation, gotten a promotion and passed my IPPT (yay! no need for RT!). In fact, I am getting so used to my job that I was thinking that maybe getting the $10k retention money and adding another year to my bond is not that bad an idea.

But as I was entertaining this thought, Cat msned me and asked whether I would be going for the next SIA interview. (It seems that she is getting quite bored with her office job)

I then proceeded to tell her about me being just promoted, my very negligible pay increment and my thoughts of staying and she asked me this simple question,

"Would you like the pay increment... or would you like to fly?"

The first thought that I had when she posted this question was of Superman... and of course I would like to be able to fly, I wouldn't mind being bullet proof and having X-ray vision too (hehehe, the things I could do with an X-ray vision) I don't think I would have enjoyed wearing my underwear on the outside. Sometimes I am really amazed by how my mind wanders. The flying that Cat was talking about here was of course not about Superman, but about flying as a cabin crew.

There was this quiz that I had taken during my training days. It was something about the things that a person look out for in life. There were around 7 things, Survival, Freedom, Power, Love and 3 other qualities that I couldn't quite remember.

At that time, I had listed Survival as the number 1 thing in life and freedom as 2nd. But after finding myself working just for survival, I was beginning to question whether survival is really more important than freedom. Is being alive in a cage really being alive? Are we truly living if we are not enjoying life?

To me, flying equates to freedom. I truly think that traveling to different countries (with pretty cabin crew girls no less!) and experiencing different cultures would really broaden my horizons.

Thus I answered Cat with a resounding, Yes! Of course I would like to fly! (yeah, yeah, I know I am exaggerating... it is quite impossible to answer anyone resoundingly using msn)

And so, we made plans to apply for the next SIA interview together. This also means I must start hitting the gym regularly, sleep early and abstain from late nights dota.

While I was trying to sleep early that night, a colleague (I shall call him S for easier reference) who was working the night shift called to pass time, wtf...

To give some background information on S.

He was a bunk mate whom I got along with quite well during our training days. He's sporty, popular, good looking (he was the talking point among the girls whom seemed to think he was hot =.=) and also a self confessed very horny guy.

In short, he is my total opposite and it is still quite a mystery to me why we got along so well.

S had found out about my plans to join SIA some months ago. It turns out that he was also going to apply for SIA, the only difference is that he wanted to wait until our bond finishes before trying and according to his calculation, we should apply around late february or early march next year to be able to get in just as our bond finishes.

As we were talking crap to help him pass time, it came out that one of the main reason that he had wanted to join SIA was because he wanted to sleep around with SIA girls =.=

I was left to wonder why ~~jerks~~ lol i mean flirty guys are so popular with girls while nice guys like me are left on the shelf.

S also told me that someone he knows had tried for the SIA cabin crew post for a grand total 12 times before getting in.

I think I am so going to break that record...

Coincidentally, my neighbor's birthday falls on the 15th of Dec. If my write-in for the interview gets through, I would have to get her something nice for her birthday to entice her to use her birthday wish to help me get through the interview.

Yeah, I know I am a free thinker and free thinkers are not supposed to be superstitious but wtf, I would try anything I could to get pass this interview. So, nice neighbor... care to drop some hints on what you want in exchange for your birthday wish?

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Tagged

2008-11-23T20:12:00.002+08:00

I know that it's been quite awhile since I last posted anything, but the thing is, if you lead a life as mundane as mine, it is very hard to blog about anything.

In fact it is so bad that it is getting to a point where I have almost nothing to post about for the month of November. I seriously suspect that my blog is going to die an ignominious death soon if I do not put in a new entry.

Luckily though, my neighbour had kindly given me something to blog about when she tagged me to do this quiz.

Before I commence on the quiz though, I do have to clarify to my neighbour that looking after prisoners is definitely not a hobby of mine.

If you have to anyhow assign a hobby to me, at least assign some sports such as basketball or wakeboarding or any sports that is 阳光 and manly, alright?

The Quiz

1)The person who tagged you is?

Ans: Rouxuan.

2)Your relationship with him/her is?

Ans: Neighbours.

3)Your 5 impressions of him/her is?

Ans: I am assuming that we are not talking about first impressions here hahaha... and so here we go, the 5 impressions I have of her,

1) Tall. She is pretty damn tall, around 170cm I think. Evolution has obviously made a mistake somewhere, girls shouldn't be taller than guys... (In case you people are wondering, I am definitely not shorter than her... no way... uh uh...)

2) Pretty. She was a cute kid years ago and had grown up to be quite a pretty girl... but think she is having acne outbreaks now hahahaha.

3) Clumsy. She is definitely very, very clumsy. I have seen her falling down while doing the simple act of walking to the lift, and I think that she had sprained her leg sometime ago while standing up from her chair... =.= Seriously, I think her pyscho-motor skills are comparable to Da Jie's

4) Friendly. She actually came over our house to say hi when we first moved in years ago... and she was the first to go over and say hi to our next door neighbours when they moved in...

5) Forgiving. Lol, her msn message used to say that Forgiveness is the greatest gift in life and also, I used to make her cry by calling her 猪头 (pig-head) Xuan all the time when she was young. I still call her that occasionally but we are still on speaking terms... so she is kinda forgiving I guess...

4)The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?

Ans: Wah memorable? She helped me with a birthday gift (a handmade bookmark) that I wanted to give to a girl I was kinda chasing (but failed miserably) about a year ago... does that count?

5)The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?

Ans: Hm... She once called me and said, "Hey are you at home right now? Come down in 5 minutes time and help me settle my cab fare first. Pay you back when I got home..."
That was memorable... for what kind of idiot gets on a cab without first making sure she got enough money with her to pay for the fare?

6)If he/she become your lover, you will?

Ans: Her mum will kill me...

7)If he/she become your lover, the thing he/she has to improve on will be?

Ans: Lol I would be dead if that happen so maybe she can improve her crying skills so that she can cry convincingly at my grave...

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will?

Ans: I will migrate and go into hiding. Seriously, my neighbour is creepy... you should see her paintings. If she is as scary as the pictures she paints... just the thought of it sends shivers down my spine...

9)What you want to tell him/her now is?

Ans: Stop growing taller!

10)Your overall impression of him/her is?

Ans: Nice friendly girl... who can be wierd at times..

11)How do you think people around you feel about you?

Ans: That I am full of crap?

12)The characteristics you love of yourself are?

Ans: That I am full of crap? Lol...

13)The ideal person you want to be is?

Ans: Haha I want to look like Takuya Kimura! A taller version that is... and then I can enjoy free Gatsby products...

14)For people that care and like you, say something to them.

Ans: Wahahahaha!

Pass this Quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.

Lolz... 10 people is alot lehz...

(People who doesn't feel like doing can just ignore this.)

1) Zhongda

2) Delun

3) Chunkin

4) Shaun

5) Junjie

6) Zhengyu

7) Cat

8) Zan

9) Wanying

10) Wanting

15) Who is number 6 having relationship with?

Ans: Lol... I have no idea man...

16) Is number 9 a male or female?

Ans: Female.

17) If number 7 and number 10 are together, will it be a good thing..

Ans: Lol, maybe if either of them go for a sex change?

18) What is number 2 studying?

Ans: ~~Business Management?~~ Lolz... its Econs...

19)When was the last time you had a chat with number 3?

Ans: Around 30 mins ago... if MSN chatting counts.

20) What kind of music band does number 8 like?

Ans: I don't really know... she listens to a wide variety from what I know.

21)Does number 1 has any siblings?

Ans: Lol, number 10 is his elder sister. He got an elder brother also...

22) Will you woo number 3?

Ans: Lol, he's a guy and I am straight...

23) How about number 7?

Ans: Lol, Cheewei will kill me...

24) Is number 4 single?

Ans: No idea... but he hangs out with alot of girls... How do you define single?

25) What is the surname of number 5?

Ans: Li.

26) What are the hobbies for number 10?

Ans: Definitely Mahjung. She has this Miu Miu (which I understand is a brand of some luxurious handbag or something, but seriously Miu Miu is a ludicrous name) fund of which I contribute to regularly whenever we played Mahjung. She once ~~cheated~~ won so much of my $$ that I have to walked home from their house in Bukit Panjang back to my house in Choa Chu Kang...

27) Do number 5 and number 9 get along well?

Ans: Lol, don't think they know each other...

28) Where is number 2 studying at?

Ans: SIM.

29) Say something about number 1

Ans: Lol, my best pal since primary school... I've known him for donkey years... When we were in primary school, he used to be this Casanova type who have girls literally chasing after him during recess time. Now for some reason, he had mellowed down into the shy shy type... =.=

30)Have you try developing feeling for number 8?

Ans: Lol no...

31) Where did number 9 live?

Ans: Choa Chu Kang?

32) What colour does number 4 likes?

Ans: No idea.

33) Are Number 1 and 5 best friends?

Ans: I don't think they know each other.

34)Does number 1 has pets

Ans: Nope.

35) Is Number 7 the sexiest person in the world?

Ans: Hahaha... could be? Have to ask Cheewei...

36)What is number 10 doing now?

Ans: Flying around somewhere?

Hotel626

2008-10-28T23:20:00.006+08:00

I had just missed a Dota game due to some lancraft error (Chunkin had taken up the last slot while I was restarting my com, damn) and thus was aimlessly browsing the internet when Aimin intro-ed me to this very eerie game.

Despite being a self proclaimed gaming expert, I just could'nt get past the stage where I have to reach an exit before a shadow reached me and throw me down the stairways.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out how to move to the exit before the stupid shadow finished me off.

But one thing that I figured out is this;

No matter where you moved (alright, I've only moved house once in my life so I am not really qualified to make statements like this... by what the heck), there will always be creepy neighbours around.

The evidences leading me to make this statement:

1) My ex neighbour likes playing scary games...

2) My current neighbour likes drawing eerie pictures

You know that it is a scary world that you live in when the kids living around you are creeping you out...

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone (especially those creepy neighbours) who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Jay Zhou New Album!

2008-10-17T02:22:00.001+08:00

Jay Zhou's new album, 魔杰座 is out! And I've just bought it! Nuff Said... :)

Eating Out

2008-10-15T21:43:00.012+08:00

So I found myself alone at home during dinner time, feeling very hungry and having nothing to eat.

Not wanting to starve to death and feeling damn sick of the nearby hawker center food -and- having no one to accompany me, I decided to make my way down to Lot 1 to have my dinner, -alone-.

Now, many people I know will balk at eating out alone and they will most probably order a take away instead but me, I am a hardened veteran of having my meals alone and most of the time, I prefer to eat out then to order a take away, for beside being an antisocial single guy, I also happen to be a Dota Addict and strangely, most of the time, my Dota Khakis like to have their game during my meal times.

Athough I am a man of iron will, the pull of a Dota game almost always proved to be stronger and thus, many a times I will end up having my meal while playing Dota.

As studies from Harvard have shown that multitasking while eating is an especially unhealthy habit and with me trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, I found myself eating out more and more often.

However, if you were to eat out alone as often as I do, you will find out that most makan places are not singles friendly at all. (It is as if those eating establishment do not welcome businesses from single people or maybe it is just a ploy of the Government to make life difficult for single people in a bid to make them get hitched and increase Singapore's population)

First of all, seats are problem if you are not eating in those high class places where there are waiters to serve you.

As I am a poor guy, I mostly eat out at food courts or fast food restuarants where there are free seatings (Free seatings in this case mean that you have to literally fight off others for your seat) and when you are eating alone, it is generally agreed upon that you can only go for the couples seat (aka the table for two).

It is considered very unfriendly to deprive a big group of their seats (the only exception being when you are starving and near death) when you are alone mostly because a big group of people can hit u harder then a lovey dovey couple can.

Secondly, after you identified the seats that you can go for, you will discover the second problem of eating alone.

There is no one to chope your seat for you.

Now in this situation, there are basically only 2 things you can do:

1) Technique One, also known as the Declaring The Table Under Your Territory Technique.

This technique involves placing any or whatever items that you have on the table/seats and thus declaring that the table belongs to you.

Generally, it is not a good idea to use valuables (such as your hand phone or your branded bag) for this technique for most probably you will lose your seat -and- your valuables. To be really safe, you should always bring a packet of tissue paper with you when eating out.

The tissue paper will allow you to execute the famous Tissue Paper technique (which basically involves you placing a packet of tissue paper on the table and thus announcing to all that the table now belongs to you).

2) Technique Two, also known as the Buy Food First And Hope To Find Seats Later Technique.

This method is mostly for those who do not have packets of tissue paper with them and also for those with an adventurous spirit.

For those who want to use this technique, it is very useful for you to also learn the Art of Acting Pitiful.

In order to get a seat, you have to first take your tray of food and stand near to a table where the occupants have almost finished their food. Then you have to look at those occupants with puppy dog eyes and basically try to look as pitiful and hungry as possible.

It is also helpful to keep hinting to the occupants that you are really hungry. Stomach growling is a good way, but if you are unable to achieve that, you can also try muttering that you are really very hungry.

For my dinner tonight, I used technique two to get my seat (a four seater) from this elderly couple who have just finished their food.

While I was enjoying my meal though, an auntie approached with her two very young and cute kids and asked whether I can share the seats.

While I recognized this technique as the I Have 3 People And You Only Have 1 So You Better Fucking Share The Seats With Us Technique, I being the nice person that I am, gladly agreed to share the seats.

However, after plonking the two kids (a boy of about four or five years old and a girl of about six or seven years old) on the seats in front of me, the auntie then left to buy food leaving me alone with her two kids.

While she was gone though, the young boy started firing a series of questions at me in English while his sister started playing with her hair or something.

Boy: "So what are you eating?"

Me: "um... Japanese food?" (I have no idea what I was eating actually, just that it was number 22 on the menu and consists of beef and fried salmon)

Boy:"So what is that?"

The boy asked, pointing at my bowl of soup.

Me: "Soup?"

Boy:"Oh... and what is that?"

The boy asked again, pointing at the salmon this time.

Me:"Salmon."

I was giving single word answers to project my unwillingness to reply to his never ending questions. But strangely though, the boy could not take the hint.

Boy:"Ok... and what is that?"

The boy was persistent and irritatingly curious as he pointed at the beef inside my tray.

Me:"um... that's a beef stew... I think..."

Boy: "Is it nice? Can I have some?"

Now, I wouldn't have minded giving him some of the beef stew, if only just to shut him up for a while but somehow, I don't think his mum would have appreciated a stranger giving food to her son and so I just smiled at him without answering and then hurriedly tried to finish my dinner.

Boy: "So what are you doing here?"

The question really stumped me and I was considering telling him that I was there to enjoy my dinner in peace and quiet when the boy's sister spoke for the first time.

Girl: "He's here to eat his dinner, stupid." (I seriously hope that the stupid refers to her brother and not me)

I shot the girl a grateful smile and gulped down my food, anxious to leave the table for the boy's interrogation is making me sweat more than a little but I was also a little bit worried to leave those 2 young kids alone at the table.

Luckily, the auntie returned with her trays of food just as I was about to finish my dinner. Swallowing the last morsel I hastily left the table.

On hindsight, I supposed that I was approached to share my table because I look like a nice guy.

I resolved to perfect my I Am Sibeh Unfriendly So Don't Approach Me to Share My Table look so that I will not be caught in such an awkward position when eating out the next time.

I Am Sibeh Unfriendly So Don't Approach Me to Share My Table Look

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Badminton And The Souvenirs From Japan

2008-10-14T21:26:00.013+08:00

Badminton was one of my favorite sport while growing up and though it seemed ages ago, I could still remember how me and my neighbors used to spend the evenings of our school holiday playing at the outdoor badminton court near our house.

Back then, our neighbors were so close that they were kind of like our extended family.

Having grown up with each other and being of similar age, we would often jio each other out to cycle or play at the playground downstairs or if feeling really bored, we would cycle over to little Gui Lin to catch turtles and raced the turtles that we have caught.

Those days, most of our evenings would be spent on playing badminton. There were around 4-5 of us each evening as we have our one vs one knockout match. The rules were simple, the winner gets to stay and the loser gets kicked out after being taunted mercilessly.

Us being poor kids, our badminton games were played mainly on the outdoor badminton court near our house and thoughts of playing in an indoor court never even crossed our minds.

This also means that we were subjected to all kinds of weather conditions while we played though mostly, we played on regardless of the weather.

We played when our shots were curled left and right by the winds, we played under the scorching sun, we played on even when its drizzling.

In fact, the only time when we were not playing was when there's a thunderstorm and that was only with our parents threatening to kill us if the lightning did not.

Back then, I was so into badminton that I taught my little sister how to play. I figured that I would combine two of my favorite activities (playing badminton and bullying my sister) into one and save myself some time.

Playing badminton with my sister used to be a breeze. I would easily trash her 11-0 even when playing with my off hand and on hindsight, I think that part of the reason that I like playing badminton so much back then was because I can irritate my sister to no end by laughing at her after she lost a game. (For reasons unknown, I get much entertainment by irritating my little sister and my elder brother gets his entertainment from irritating me AND my little sister. I wonder if this hold true for all siblings or is it because a sadistic streak runs in our family)

All this changed when my sis joined her school badminton club. I could no longer win her with any ease, in fact, most badminton games with her had me ducking for cover as she smashed the shots at me left right center. Badminton was no longer fun when someone half a head shorter then you bullies you at it. To this day, I blame my sis for my loss of interest in the sport.

Recently though, it seems that everyone around me is playing badminton again. My elder brother was playing it weekly, Chunkin joined his school's badminton club and even my current neighbors play on almost every Sunday (I know because they come over to my house to borrow our shuttle cocks on Sundays).

So while it came as no surprise when Zhongda asked me to help him book a court at Choa Chu Kang Stadium 2 weeks ago for today, I was surprised though that we actually need to book 2 weeks in advance in order to get the court and that the bill actually comes up to $14.80 for 2 hours at a single court.

At first, the only people supposed to be playing were Zhongda, Zhongda's cousin, Zhongyong and Zhongyong's girlfriend. However, on that day itself, Chunkin, Da Jie and I decided to join in. Alan was also supposed to come but he said that he didn't have the energy to play as he had been talking to a girl on the phone till 5am and our game is at 9am.

Playing in an indoor court was very different from playing in an outdoor one. Your shots mostly go where you want them to go with no interference from the wind and the wooden floor provides better friction then the dirty concrete floor of an outdoor court.

While we were having our 2v2 knockout matches, Da jie seemed to be the one having the most fun. She was hopping around exuberantly after each shot (leaving an insane amount of sand from her muddy shoes onto the polished wooden floor), urging her team mate to smack the shots at their opponents.

In fact, Da Jie was so 'high' that I was seriously beginning to suspect her of being on drugs. And as the wooden floor gets more and more scratch marks from her muddy shoes and her non-stop hopping I begin to cast furtive glances at the staff of the badminton court, praying hard that they won't notice the damaged floors and ask us to pay for the re-polishing.

Halfway through the game, I noticed something interesting about Da Jie's psycho-motor skills. While she can return shots that were to the left, right or front of her, shots that were hit past her were beyond her ability to return as she seemed incapable of walking backwards.

Being the sportsmen that we were, we immediately begin to exploit this very weird weakness of Da Jie while Da Jie's cousin (who had the misfortune to be paired with her most of the time haha) was left running all over the court to try to cover her weak point.

We played through our 2 hours without any incident or any staff approaching us. My arms were aching like a sore tooth and I seemed to be the only one sweating like a pig after the game (further proof of my fitness).

After showering at home, I made my way to Zhongda's house to have my free lunch. Upon reaching, I found Da Jie telling her boyfriend how she had dominated in the morning badminton game and the 2 facts that I can draw from this:

1) Da Jie has a great potential to be a story teller, albeit a very untruthful one
2) Whatever drugs that she had taken earlier on had not worn off yet.

And as we were talking, it turns out that Da Jie did buy back some souvenirs from her trip to Japan a few weeks ago. And these were what she bought.

Who in the right frame of mind would buy cup noodles as souvenirs?

Knowing that we were going to the KTV later, Da Jie got the maid to put those souvenirs in a plastic bag and ~~forced~~ asked me to take them before they expired, wtf lol.

Regardless, I sincerely want to thank Da Jie for getting me something from her trip even if they are something that seemed to be pick up as an afterthought. =.=

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

Some Things You Don't Notice

2008-09-25T23:53:00.009+08:00

I have always known that I am not a very observant type of person, I like to daydream whenever I am idle.

I never realized how unobservant I am though, until I got to take the MRT with Hin after we got off from work today.

Now Hin actually belongs to the privilege group of people who happen to own their own transport (a bike in this case). However, due to his bike malfunctioning the night before, he was forced to take the public transport (in this case, the MRT) with the rest of us commoners.

Being the good friend that I am, I proceeded to teach this newbie of public transport the intricacies of taking the MRT (which includes important stuff such as where and how to tap the EZ-Link card) and so basically this is how the conversation went.

Me: "So you know ah, nowadays MRT dun use the MRT cards liaoz... You have to use an EZ-Link Card instead"

Hin shot me a weird look which I interpreted as amazement for my wealth of knowledge.

Hin: "So you know how many carriages a MRT train have?"

Of course I didn't know the answer to his question, for who would so boliao as to count the carriages?

However, not wanting to appear ignorant in front of this minion of the private transport, I immediately summon up a mental picture of the MRT train and tried to hazard a guess.

Me: "Um... 10 carriages?"

Hin: "No, there are only 6 carriages"

Me: "Don't be stupid lah, the train so long, how can be 6 carriages only?"

Hin though, was adamant that he was right (Which in fact he was. The first thing that we did when the train arrived was to count the number of carriages.)

Apparently he had counted the number of carriages so that he will know which carriage to get on in order for him to be nearest to the escalators when he reached his destination. (For example, if you want to be among the first to reach the elevators at Jurong East MRT station from Queenstown MRT station, you should board the 3rd carriage from the last)

As he yada-ed on about his 'Guide on Getting off The Train and Being the First In Line For The Escalators', I was left wondering why different people seem to notice different things when they are in the same scenario.

For me, whenever I am on the train, the only thing that I will take note of is whether there are any pretty girls nearby or not, whereas Hin seems to be only taking note of how he can cut short his traveling time.

2 possible facts that I can derive from this.

1) I am a cool guy who wants to make my traveling time as enjoyable as possible by seeking out eye candies to soothe the monotony of taking the MRT and also that Hin is a calculative elitist of the private transport faction who just wants to spend as little time possible breathing in the same air as us peasants while being stuck in the demeaning public transport.

2) I am just plain unobservant.

P.S. As usual, the entry contains a lot of crap from me and anyone who might take offense from it should treat this post as nonsensical ramblings.

稻香 - Jay Zhou's New Song

2008-09-25T00:44:00.004+08:00

Jay Zhou's new song! Can't wait for the album to come out... damn~

Funny Post By The Great Sze

2008-09-21T17:35:00.009+08:00

Was doing some random surfing sometime ago when I came across this very funny post by The Great Sze. So here it is in its entirety, lifted straight from his blog.

==============================================================

Why Girls' Blog More Popular than Boys' Blog in Singapore

The premise for today is: Girls' blog is more popular than boys' blog, at least in Singapore.

The premise for today is deliberately written in poor English, but I am too insecure to just let it stand there on its own without this qualifier.

Next, we move on to our primary inquiry for today: WHY is girls' blog more popular than boys' blog in Singapore?

I venture a few answers.

1. Girls' blog got more pictures

In general, any old boy will start a blog. If he has interest in Gundam, he will start a blog showcasing Gundam. If he has interest in leapfrogging iguanas, he will start a blog showcasing leapfrogging iguanas etc etc.

A girl will start a blog if she thinks she is pretty.

Then she will put many many many picture of herself on the blog. I am not insinuating that these think-they-are-pretty girls have nothing of worth to say. They have probably, however, done a cost-benefit analysis: if I have to type something, it will require effort, and time, and creativity. But if I put a picture of myself up, the process is relatively instantaneous, AND at the same time I can get external validation of my physical appearance!

So in the interests of minimum effort, maximum results, these think-they-are-pretty girls put up photos of themselves.

There is of course a sub-group of ugly but articulate girls. These girls' blogs, you will notice, are very unpopular. People don't really read the text on blogs; least of all, people do not want to read what ugly people have to say. If you are still reading this entry, thank you, you're quite good looking yourself too.

Then finally there is the amazing mind-blowing sub-group of PRETTY and ARTICULATE girls. These like giant pearl in big ocean with only 2 oysters.

In any case, from my extensive field surveys, I come to the conclusion that both boys and girls ogle girl photos, but boy photos are seldom ogled. Boys will of course not ogle other boys, ours being a very correct heterosexual nation. And girls will never admit to ogling boys. Even in front of the computer screen girls will only look at boy photo out of the corner of their eye, and then look away and pretend to be inspecting toenail. Like that who will read boys blog? The boys all think "Haiyah this guy is a pussy", and the girls keep averting their eyes from the computer screen. Gone case already.

Furthermore, local boys are ugly. This is actually not my opinion. I have very low standards, I think local boys are OK. But a lot of my "too-cool-for-school" peers like to have a go at local boys. So this is the prevalent mindset, and the girls think so too. Girls come from this planet where everyone looks like Kwon Sang Woo, so we cannot blame them. In fact we should be grateful they have not all died off as a result of sexual frustration.

2. Girls write better

Supposedly girls have more powerful language skills than boys. Last time when we were all killing Shredder and Krang with Splinter, girls were busy reading dictionaries. As a result today girls can all speak very well. This makes for easier, more therapeutic reading. Also some people I know, when they read girls' blog, they imagine the girl whispering the words into their ear. This is something that cannot be done for boys' blog.

3. Girls have a lot more to talk about

Girls live to communicate, to be in harmony, to synchronize periods. Boys just want to kill each other. Apart from giving us an insight into the average intelligence of each gender, this fact also results in girls' blogs being more interesting. Let us say, the same thing happens to a boy and girl: some old aunty cut the queue of the blogger at the hawker centre.

*

GIRL: I am so pissed! Today I was lining up to buy my favourite char kway teow at Ghim Moh (Ghim Moh PWNZ Newton!! Nyahhhh!):

(insert picture of girl lining up)

(insert picture of girl sticking tongue out and lining up)

(insert shaky self-taken picture of girl and photographer)

Then you know what happen?? This AUNTY came and pretend not to see me! And then she CUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!

(insert picture of aunty's rear profile)

(insert picture of girl's hand making dirty sign at aunty's rear profile)

*RAWR* I was, like, totally going to let her have a piece of my mind lah! And den my darling (insert ridiculous idiotic sweetytalk name here) told me to keep cool. I only managed to hold it in!! *RAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR*

*pouts* Am feeling grumpy now. The char kway teow tasted lousier! I am sure that aunty's bad aura tainted it!

*

BOY: Nabe todae lao cheebye cut mi Q.

4. Girls readily post comments on other girls' blogs; nobody comments on boys' blogs

A blog that no one comments on is a lousy, unpopular blog.

This point is actually linked to the above one. Girls live to communicate, so they will readily affirm/encourage/support their friends' (or even strangers') blogs. Comments like "you go girl!" and "that's so pretty!!! you always manage to look good in whatever you wear!!" fall like locusts fall from heaven every time a girly blog is concerned. Contrast with boys' blog: nobody comments. or if they do, it usually is of the 1D10+1c l337 5p34k variety.

The reason for non-commenting on boys' blog is straightforward. Boys will not comment on other boys' blog, because the whole aim of existing as a boy is to kill other boys (and to make Gundam). You do not talk to your prey. You just look at their blogs and scoff at them, observe their living patterns and then stake them out for the final kill.

Girls, on the other hand, will not comment on boys' blog because if a GIRL comments on a BOY'S blog, it is damn BO SEI!!! Then everyone will think the girl like the boy! How can like that! Cannot cannot! Girl must sit at home surrounded by flower and spray perfume, staring at her Kwon Sang Woo poster and then one day the boy will show up at her doorstep and ask her to do housework for him. Only THEN can she say "Yes, I really wanted to comment on your blog but I was too shy!"

5. Girls have nehnehpok

I don't really know how to articulate this point. But it feels relevant, somehow.

P.S.
This post was lifted directly from the blog of The Great Sze's November 26th 2006 Posting.

Healthy Lifestyle Part 2

2008-09-20T19:53:00.008+08:00

The walk-in interview for the dream job is on again tomorrow. Sad to say though, I will not be going for I haven't got an ounce of confidence that I can pass.

I had skipped the last month walk-in also, because I felt that I was not ready then.

I am still not ready now. The past month have flitted by, without me having done a single thing to improve myself and my chances.

I have stated numerous times before that I feel stifled in my job. It is not just because the work is frustrating and hard, but it's more that I am feeling conflicted and unequal to the job I have to do.

But knowing that I will not stay in this job for long, I could not help but wonder why I have done nothing thus far to secure that dream job.

The passport size photos that I have taken last month for my resume is damn crappy, my hair is messy and my complexion rotten. Basically, I, look and feel like shit.

I am very determined though, that by the next dream job interview(or the next, next interview), I will get my complexion cleared up, a nicer hair cut and a very handsome, digitally enhanced resume photo.

Now, some of you might have known of the Healthy Lifestyle plan that I had made in the month of June. That plan, has sadly fizzled out within 2 weeks of being conceived due to a lack of resolve and some unforeseen circumstances that have cropped up at work.

This time around, I will make it work and thereby, hopefully increasing my chance of making a career switch.

Now I can only hope that Zan's complexion clearing ways can work for me also.

Acne and being a Vain Pot

2008-09-16T23:48:00.009+08:00

People who have naturally good complexion may never understand the agonies that those of us who are troubled with acne are going through.

My acne outbreaks have lasted since I was a Secondary 3 student. The acne, beside spoiling my otherwise very handsome (yeah, I wish!) face, has also caused my confidence level to plummet (though in truth, I was never very confident to begin with) and left me with an inferior complex.

Back then, I never seek treatment for the acne because the general feeling then was that a guy should be manly and that using anything other than your normal facial wash will invite derision from your fellow manly men and gain you labels such as being a sissy or a gay.

And so even as I stoically endured the disfiguring effect of the acne on my yan dao-ness, my confidence was slowly eroded away, making me into the shy reticent guy that I am today.

However, nearing 24 years of being single had convinced me that I had better rid myself of my inferior complex. And after much analysing, I decided that the main causes of my lack of confidence is my lack of money and me having an abundance of pimples. (if only it could be the other way round, having a lot of money and lacking pimples)

As it is rather hard to get alot money (none of my toto tickets ever strike!), I decided to risk my manliness and seek treatment for my acne.

I have been going for treatments for several months, but there has been little improvements. My skin is still full of acne scars and I am again suffering from pimples outbreak after I stopped my medication.

I was actually about to lose hope when Zan informed me that she has a solution for facial crisis.

And so, while we were chatting on msn, she showed me photos of her now, very smooth face. Like me, Zan was a fellow sufferer of the very malicious acne and to be honest (no offense wor, Zan) her case of acne back then was even worse off then mine.

As she showed off her very nice complexion, only one thought was running through my mind...
Back then, Zan had looked like she was a pimpled teenager even though she was around 21 of age (what with her small built and little girl voice... really no offense wor Zan!). Now, she looks like a smooth-skin primary school kid =.= lolz wtf.

As we chatted on msn for around an hour, enthusiastically discussing the various treatments for acne and how she managed to clear up her complexion, I was left, in spite of my manliness, feeling like some sibeh vain girl (damn wtf lol) talking with her best pal on the latest makeup or something. But anyways, still want to thank you ah, Zan, when did you become a pyshic and know that I am having a facial crisis sia.

Anyways, call me vain or a sissy or in fact, call me anything you want, I have decided to go for the treatment that Zan had went for.

I still have to state though, I am still a very manly man and I am definitely not gay ok!

P.S.
While I absolutely could not find anything in this entry that might be offending to anyone, I still have to state (to be on the safe side) that anything in this post that might offend anyone should be treated as nonsensical ramblings.

Ian's Wedding

2008-09-15T23:57:00.013+08:00

Ian's wedding dinner was held at Swisotel the Stanford, a very posh and high class hotel.

His wedding was like a mini gathering for those of us who used to be in the Southern Island Flight and I am sure that all of us present are happy for him, for he had found a very nice lady to share his life with.

While I myself could never imagine going through with the rigors of getting married, the wedding dinner itself was quite touching, especially when they showed the video that Ian had made for his wife.

Before, whenever I thought of Ian, an image of a flippant, social butterfly (especially around the girls) who is always full of lame jokes comes to mind. However on this night, I saw Ian in a different light.

Maybe it's the lighting, or even the formal suit that he wore, but it seems that marriage had changed and made him more stable, for to me, he kinda appear more mature and somehow seemed to finally made the transition to being an adult. (Yeah, I know, we are way past the age of 21. But being old and being an adult are 2 different things, I think)

However, traces of his humour still showed when he was making his wedding speech, and it is strangely reassuring to know that he was still the same lame-ass person whom I had understudied under before.

Throughout the dinner, I also had fun catching up with the rest of the Pawai-ans, seeing as how the rest of the Pawai Rangers (Yeah, i know its a corny name, but it is catchy ok!) seem to have found their directions in life (Kianyong, Junjie, Jonathan and Weida are in Universities, Cruise and Yong Tai are property agents, Lawrence is in investments while Eric is working hard from ground up in his father's company)

It is also kind of sad as compared to the rest of them, I am still flip flopping around in life and work, single, and not knowing exactly where I am headed or where I want to go.

As people who knows me well should know, I am no good at waxing lyrical about sentimental stuff and so those of you who want more information on the wedding can go to Junjie's posting on the wedding.

Anyways, I would like to wish Ian and Wanjun happiness in their marriage and to borrow a line from Junjie:

Yen, 祝您和琬君永結同心﹐白頭諧老 !!!

Have more kids and be saddled with a lot of study loans wor!

Lunar Festival and The Neighbour's Master Piece

2008-09-14T22:11:00.022+08:00

For me, the Mid Autumn Festival has always been a time where we (as kids) arranged lighted candles in pretty patterns, walk around the parks with paper lanterns while admiring the full moon and eating moon cakes.

For as long as I can remember, I've always enjoyed the Mid Autumn festival, it is during this time that we are given general amnesty and a free reign to create arson and vandalize the parks by sticking our candles everywhere, leaving behind ugly scorch marks and melted candle wax.

I remember as a kid, how I used to buy those plastic toy soldiers and then burn them one by one. It is quite disturbing that we found it entertaining to see the fire slowly consuming and melting those small soldiers into sad little puddles of plastic. (Though I absolutely have to make it clear that Zhongda was the one who taught me this, there is no way, uh uh, that I could have come up with this sadistic idea)

However, it seemed that the older I get, the less fun the idea of competing to see who can light the biggest fire becomes. This year marks the first time in my life that I did not even light a single candle or carry a lantern for the whole of the Moon Festival.

In fact, I spent the whole of today at work and the only thing interesting that happened today was of 3 YPs (for those of you who do not know what YP stand for, I can only say that the Y stands for young) complaining to me that their 'room' was haunted.

Upon further questioning though, it seemed that these 3 kids have heard the eerie laughter of a woman in their room the night before. They also showed me a drawing of a long haired woman that was scratched on the behind of their door. The 3 YPs vehemently denied that the drawings were done by them and they also told me how their 'room' seemed colder than the other 'rooms'.

Hearing their story, I was immediately reminded of the incident told to me by one of the night shift staff a few days ago. It seemed that one of my colleagues working the night shift had been scared shitless when he had seen the figure of a long haired lady floating out of our locked office.

I don't know if it is because of their eerie story or because of some other pyschological reasons, their room did feel colder to me.

And so, being the nice and considerate person that I am, I tried to comfort these 3 kids by telling them that a colder room means free air-conditioning and a better night sleep. I also tried to calm their frayed nerves but affirming their story and telling them about the long haired lady that the night duty staff saw.

I don't think they are much comforted though, for they looked positively paler when I left them.

On the way home, I noticed a sms from my neighbour. It seemed that her boy friend, whom she insisted is not her boyfriend(Don't worry, I won't tell your mum lah!), had just entered NS and she wants to know how often he can use his phone. Being the nice friendly neighbour I am, I prompty answered all her queries and tried to assure her that it is not easy for someone to actually die during NS training.

Somehow or rather though, maybe due to the fact that my neighbour is an art student, the conversation lead to the supposedly 'master piece' that she had drawn.

Having been neighbours for years, I had seen quite a number of the art pieces that she had drawn (the most recent being the half melted, maimed hand that looked like something from the movie 'Saw') and thus I was skeptical about whether I could comprehend her drawings.

However, figuring that I could have a good laugh by making fun of her drawings, I asked to see her 'master piece'

And this is it...

The drawing, looking kind of nice and fuzzy in my low resolution photo

Apparently, the theme for this art piece is supposed to be something about warm relationships. And from what my neighbour told me, this drawing is of her and her elder brother when they were younger.

Sadly, the low resolution photo failed to show most of the details that made this drawing a master piece and thus, in a bid to highlight the artistic talents of my neighbour, I shall literally point out what makes this drawing so damn ~~eerie~~ um... I mean great...

Firstly, the two kids in the drawings have very evil looking eyes and are wearing the type of demented grins that, you know, only the Joker in Dark Knight or Chucky in Child Play will have.

Also, the two of them are floating in mid-air while eating ice cream that seemed to be made of blood. The drawing is made more disturbing with the great amount of blood surrounding the two characters.

All in all, I think my neighbor has really outdone herself this time. I could really envision her monopolizing the market for the posters of all the horror movies.

So to the very talented artist living next door, don't forget your very nice and encouraging neighbour when you get rich and famous hor.

P.S.
There is absolutely no sarcasm in this entry. The author really feels that his neighbour has the potential to be the next Picasso. Also, as the author is fond of making fun of the people that he likes, anything that is spastic/sarcastic in the blog should be treated as nonsensical ramblings.

M1 and Ian

2008-09-13T15:25:00.027+08:00

This morning, I woke up to see a profusion of smses on my handphone.

Apparently, M1 (being a very nice and friendly customer oriented mobile service provider) have helped me subscribed to a couple of funny services such as lottery results and music downloads.

One of the smses that M1 had sent me : " Thank you for subscribing to 4d Toto at $2.14/mth. Promo rates apply if any. To unsub, sms "term 4dtoto" to 1627"

The 2 implications that people may draw from this sms:

1) The phrase "Thank you for subscribing" implies that I have voluntarily, on my own free will, subscribed for the 4d Toto results from M1 which is of course not what I have done.

So, M1 wtf are you thanking me for?

To me, the forcing of service on someone is somewhat like kissing a girl without asking for her consent first and -then- thanking her for subscribing to your kissing services and then telling her that the service will cost her $2/mth -unless- she sends you an sms saying that she wants to stop your kissing services. (Ok, ok, I know my analogy sucks big time but the gist of it is somewhere there... I think)

Also, by implying that I have voluntarily subscribed for this 4d Toto thing, it can be taken to mean that

2) I am a -gasp- compulsive gambler who bet on Toto and 4d frequently and thus needs to know 4d/Toto information on the go.

As you can see, there isn't a speck of truth in those 2 implications for firstly, I definitely did not sign up for these services and secondly I am definitely not a compulsive gambler.

The only acts of gambling in my life are the very occasional buying of Toto (yeah, I do believe that striking toto is the greatest gift in life) and that once in a while game of Mahjung.

I have to stress that I am not addicted to buying Toto and I don't even like playing Mahjung that much.

Besides the fact that it is hard for a honest, gullible and nice person like me to win anything in Mahjung, I also feel damn pissed when I lose and -very-guilty (hehe, really I do) even when I do win, so in fact, it is a lose lose situation for me .

I am now considering legal action against M1 for gross misrepresentation of information (such as implying that I am addicted to buying toto) and for any any how signing me up for funny services and forcing me to, one by one send termination smses to M1 to cancel those unwanted services.

On a happier note, my good friend Ian is getting married on Monday and I am cordially invited to his wedding dinner.

For those of you who do not know who Ian is, here's some background info

1) He is the sergeant of my army unit whom I once understudied under and the one who sent me to wash the toilet on my first shift up on Pawai.

2) He also taught (by self example, no less) that duty on Pawai involves lying on the bed 23 hours a day. (The other one hour out of bed being used for showering, eating and maybe shitting)

3) We once had a competition while doing our duty in Pawai. The rules are simple, the person who gets down from his bed first loses. I lost. Sometimes I wonder if he is a person or a log, I had never seen anyone else who can stay in bed the whole day.

4) He is also the one of the few sergeants who knows or profess to know, how to cook. He had in fact managed to cook pork meat instant noodles that was so delicious that Nicky, our dog in Pawai refused to eat the pork that was left over. Which is kind of a miracle, for Nicky eats almost anything. Needless to say, none of us could finish the instant noodles.

5) He is leading a great life after his ORD for he gets plumper every time I see him. His features used to be angular I think, now he is just round. (On a side note, my elder brother is heading the same way, he is accumulating layers of fat like a polar bear)

From the scant information above, it is not hard to deduce what a gem of a person Ian is and so a very good luck to you, Ian's future wife.

-Edited- 17/09/08
P.S.

Just realized that I had forgotten to put a disclaimer on this. Anything that might offend/insult anyone should of course be treated as nonsensical ramblings by the author.

ERP Gantries and Hitler

2008-08-16T18:54:00.004+08:00

I have always thought that only common people like me have to worry about rising costs but here is proof that even the elites can be troubled by monetary woes.

The Lift And Yoda

2008-08-02T23:17:00.015+08:00

I was walking towards the lift below my flat today, after a long and tiring day at work, carrying bags of takeaways from MacDonald's which will serve as dinner for my family.

Though the takeaways were damn heavy (3 sets of up-sized meals and 3 free Olympic cups hor...) my 'muscular' arms barely feel the strain.

However, despite my superhuman strength, it will be difficult to press the lift buttons as it is damn hard to maneuver your fingers when you are carrying a lot of bags.

Lucky for me though, a guy (whom I don't think I have ever seen before) reached the lift before me and seeing that I was laden with many plastic bags, he kindly pressed the button to hold the lift open for me.

After expressing my thanks, I quickly entered the lift and was about to press the button for the 3rd floor - the level where my house is.

But before I could even lift my hand, that guy had reached out with lightning speed and pressed the button for the 3rd floor.

Being a very logical person (and a logical person always numbered out his thoughts), I came out with the several plausible explanations as to why that guy had pressed for the 3rd floor -

1) He is a friend/relative of my neighbors and he is visiting them
2) He is a insurance agent to my neighbors
3) He had pressed for the wrong floor
4) He is a neighbor... whom I had never noticed before

As these thoughts were running in my mind though, this guy very decisively pressed the button for the 6th floor which kinda shows that he wasn't going to the third floor. I was very amazed then and came to the very irrational conclusion that -

1) This guy has some kind of psychic powers and had somehow known that I had wanted to press for the 3rd floor and thus had pressed it for me

2) I am like one of those ordinary people in the TV show 'Heroes' who has just discovered my powers of mind control (Woaha!) and had just used my great powers to control the guy.

However, like I have stated earlier in my post, I am a logical and no nonsense kinda person, so I immediately dismissed these silly thoughts.

But as a very astonished me got out on the 3rd floor, I could not help but get a closer look at this guy before the lift doors closed.

The guy is an uncle in his late 30s or early 40s, has quite a few wrinkles, and is quite short (a full head shorter than me... which is really very short)

In fact, come to think of it, he kinda looks like this....

Less green of course...

I was racking my brain on why this picture looks so familiar when it struck me...

Yoda is living on the 6th floor.

Omigod, May the force be with me.

*P.S.

I mean no disrespect to the kind uncle who held the lift for me. I am really thankful for that kind act. I also happen to hold Yoda in high esteem and when I said Yoda, I actually really meant Master Yoda and if that kind uncle really happen to possess any psychic powers and is now reading my mind while I am writing this very nonsense post, I will be really be appreciative if he can pass on some of his powers to me so that I can increase my chance on not dying a virgin. As always, anything in this blog that might piss off anybody should be treated as nonsensical ramblings.

Weekends, Weekdays and Maths

2008-07-28T01:01:00.027+08:00

It is a personal belief of mine that something weird is happening on most weekends for they passed by so damn fucking fast even or especially when you are not doing anything.

On weekends, the clocks seemed to turn faster and the sun seemed to set faster (though this might be attributed to the fact that by the time I wake up, the sun is usually more than halfway through with its descent).

In comparison, the weekdays go by fast only on days when you are taking your off or your leave. For the rest of the time though, the weekdays seem to crawl past with the speed of a crippled tortoise.

I have read somewhere that the 7 days week were invented by either the Jews or the Babylonians.

Now this 7 days week would have been fine if 3.5 days are for weekdays and 3.5 days for weekends.

An 8 days week will be even better though, due to the fact that many of us (me included) are no great shakes in Mathematics and therefore have great difficulties in calculating fractions and decimals.

This is, I believe what happened to the guy who invented the 5 days work week. He must have been a fucking intelligent and charismatic guy (for how else could he have convinced others that a 5 days work week is acceptable) who believes in fairness and equality.

But though he might have been brilliant in a hell lot of things, his Achilles Heel was that he sucked -big time- at Maths . He had not understood that when 7 is divided by 2 the answer is not a freaking 5 and 2.

That is why most of us are slogging away 5 days a week and also why I shall curse this fucker for every single working day of my life.

That is... if I can ever find out who he is.

But as they say, for every bad thing in life that you encountered, there will always be a worse thing that can and will happen.

My current work actually requires me to work on alternate weekends which means that I am -gasp- actually working 11 days / 2 weeks or 5.5 days a week, which also means I am feeling extremely cheated and that I cannot in fairness, curse the guy who invented the 5 days week, for strictly speaking, he is not responsible for my current predicament.

Life is truly great when you don't even know who you can place the blame on when shit happens to you.

Political Correctness

2008-07-21T20:25:00.014+08:00

There is something very different about the current world as compared to the world I was in as a school kid.

The world today place a hell lot of emphasis on not hurting people's feeling and political correctness. Whereas in the past, people tend to just say what they fucking want to say.

Stuff such as empathy and being sensitive to others are non-existent back then or maybe simply ignored. People who care about others too much are weak and stupid. The world is a cruel place and only those who can endure it can survive.

I remembered my primary six teacher calling us, or in particularly me and my good pal Zhongda, stupid. Our ears were twisted and pinched by the fat sadistic teacher on a almost daily basis, getting slapped was a common affair.

To be fair, I almost never do my homework but the main reason that I don't ever do them is that the ugly spinster of a teacher was a great believer in making wayward students write lines. If I have spent the time wasted on writing the thousands of lines on studying instead, I could probably have qualified for Mensa. (Strangely enough, I did quite well for my PSLE but after that it all went downhill)

The political correctness of the world today makes me wonder if that evil teacher is still teaching now. One thing is for sure though, if she is still teaching the way that she taught years ago, she would most probably have been sued and head-lined our national newspapers.

However, my main purpose of writing this post is not to rant about this malevolent teacher (though there is a hell lot to rant about) but is instead about how much the world has changed.

We are on the surface much nicer people now, so careful of not offending others through our words or behaviors. Though there is a saying that says 'a rose by any other name is still a rose', we have changed how we describe people. Nowadays, black people are called colored; fat people, big; short people, vertically challenged; and so on...

In my workplace, the 'managers' and 'supervisors' very rarely scold us and put us down. I was expecting a scolding after I took 3 days MC in the span of 2 weeks. What happened though was a gentle advice from the boss telling me that my MC rate is affecting my 'high' performance rating... just before he gave me more projects to do.

And it is not only the well-educated people who are getting more and more political correct. I was buying dinner at the hawker center when the hawker addressed me as 'Shuai Ge' (which means handsome guy)

I was quite flattered by the honesty of this hawker -when- I heard this same hawker addressed a really old auntie behind me as 'Da Jie' (which translates as big sister)

While it makes great business sense for the hawker to flatter any Tom, Dick and Harry who frequents his store, it also makes you doubt every compliment that comes your way.

P.S.

To those kids who like to call me uncle ah, you all got a lot to learn from this hawker. Call me Da Ge the next time.

To the only one person whom I called 'Da Jie' on a regular basis. When I call you 'Da Jie', I am definitely, absolutely and unquestionably -not- inferring that you are an auntie.

You are one of the nicest, friendliest and um... prettiest 'Da Jie' that I have ever seen. Hahahaha. Really.

Driving Lessons

2008-07-18T17:21:00.006+08:00

In this materialistic world that we live in, it is imperative for a guy to know how to drive.

As the world progresses, girls are no longer impressed by the hunting/foraging/chest thumping skills of guys. Proving yourself as the alpha male (also known as God's gift to the girls) is no longer as simple as just dragging the carcasses of the deer/stag/goat that you have hunted back to your stinking cave.

This could also be due to the fact that there are little wildlife (aside from the many stray cats) available in urban Singapore -and- I definitely do not think that the girls will be amused if you clobber a very cute cat and bring it home as dinner. (FYI, I am a cat lover myself and I will probably whack you if I see you clobbering a cat)

So what is it that attracts girls now?

Recent studies by Harvard (yeah, I am bullshitting you just to lend this post more credence) have shown that 95% of the girls are drawn to guys who chauffeur them around. There is, I believe, something about having a nice car that makes a girl go weak in her knees.

That is why I am now taking up driving lessons, even though the cost of buying and driving a car in Singapore is probably enough to feed a whole family in some other country for at least a lifetime.

What I did not expect is that the cost of learning how to drive is probably going to cost me an arm and a leg as well.

Just the cost of registering under Bukit Batok Driving Center costs me a whooping $80. A single practical lesson cost $60 (and I might need around 26-30 lessons). The practical test will cost about $130.

The amount of money needed is so fucking amazing that I wonder whether I am paying towards establishing an annual gratuity for the boss, management, clerk, instructors, cleaners of BBDC or for my driving lessons.

I am so going to get my driving license on the first try... for the sake of my manly pride and my thinning wallet.

P.S. My bro and his girlfriend passed in their first try... and their driving sucks big time. I don't think I will live it down if I fail =.=

Religion, Housework and Me

2008-07-17T16:20:00.014+08:00

So I am on leave today.

While most people tend to rest on their leave days, I being the hardworking person that I am, spent my very precious leave day on... housework.

Many of you might not know it, but housework is actually a test of endurance for the occupants of the house (for those of us without a maid anyways).

I believe that subconsciously, me and my siblings are actually competing to see who can tahan the increasing disgusting state that the house is degenerating to.

I was way ahead in the endurance department when I lost it, after stepping on something gooey in the kitchen (and this was after I swiped my arm over something slimy on the dinning table).

My elder bro had caved in and cleared out the fridge a week or two ago when he got appalled with its condition. My sis had cleaned up her room when her friends came over to play the previous week.

It was now my turn to do some cleaning up before the house got eaten up by fungus or something.

I am a great believer in reverse psychology so, yeah, I love doing housework very much... there is truly nothing as gratifying as trying to wipe away the stubborn greasy stain on the stove or scrubbing that shitty toilet bowl.

I've spent the better half of the day clearing up the mess in the living room, the dining room and scrubbing the very disgusting kitchen floor, though to be honest, it would not have taken soooo long if I had not made it a point to go through all the interesting magazines that were strewn all over the house.

After making the house a little bit more habitable, I remembered, or rather my neighbor who was walking past the house, reminded me that today is actually the lunar 15th.

Although I happen to be a truly pious free thinker, my IC and more importantly, my Dad had stated that I am a Buddhist. Not wanting to be disowned by Dad, I obediently lay out the fruits (that my bro had bought) on the altar.

As I were arranging the lychees (lychees were my late mum's favorite fruit) on the plate, I found myself wanting to believe in the existence of God (or Gods depending on which religion you believe in), and that there is actually an afterlife where you can again meet the loved ones that you have lost.

But if God exists, how do we know which one of them really exist? If Christ is real then can Buddha or Thor or Allah be real also? If the Bible says that non-believers in Christianity are going to hell and the Koran says the same thing for non-believers in Islam... are we all going to Hell?

Religion is a really hard thing to understand for it requires faith and not logical thinking. You either believe in it or you don't for it is not something that can be proved by looking at facts or evidences.

I think that most of us want to believe in a religion because it promises something beyond what your normal life span of maybe 70-80 years offers.

So, to play it safe, I am now a full time Buddhist, part time free thinker.

In fact, to ensure that I do not end up in some hell when I died, I may decide to believe in all of those religions that states that non-believer (in that particular religion) will burn in hell.

And to reflect my religion inclination, my blog address will change to something like this

Rileon-is-a-BuddhistChristianTaoistIslamicPaganHinduZoroastrianism
Freethinker.blogspot.com

or to keep it short...

Rileon-is-a-sibehreligiousman.blogspot.com

*Disclaimer: There is absolutely no disrespect for any religion in this blog. Contents should be taken as nonsensical ramblings of the blogger.

Men, The Superior Gender

2008-07-13T03:12:00.008+08:00

As the superior gender, we males are twice as clever as the females. This is evident from the fact that we are born with two heads instead of one.

Unfortunately, nature seek equality between the two genders and thus, have given us males an insufficient amount of blood to fully supply both heads at the same time.

Having said that, a man can usually assess his situation and decide which head needed the blood the most. And for most of the time, the blood flow is directed to his thinking head.

However, Nature has connived to give the females (who are less clever because they only have half the number of heads as compare to the males) an unfair advantage in the battle of the sexes.

This advantage becomes obvious when you put a woman (especially an attractive and scantily dressed one) near to a guy. A woman will have this very dangerous ability to redirect a man's blood flow from his thinking head to his lower and smaller head.

*It should be noted that the effect of this dangerous ability is often in direct proportion to her attractiveness and her proximity to the guy.

In other words, girls make guys stupid.

This can also be taken to mean that men are stupider. For knowing the effects that girls have on us, we still willingly chase after them as we would rather be stupid then single.

So please. If there are any sweet young things reading this post, do drop me a message. I am single, desperate and utterly willing to be stupid. Just for you.

Damn, I am so proud to be a guy.

Truth of Life

2008-07-01T18:35:00.004+08:00

Blogging is hard. Changing the music in the blog is easy. I am lazy. That's why the music in this blog change more then the post. Anyone knows how to put a playlist in a blog?

Healthy Lifestyle

2008-06-02T20:47:00.012+08:00

There are a myriad of reasons as to why one would want to live healthily. The obvious ones being that a healthy lifestyle (aka a balanced diet + exercise + 8 hours of sleep) will lead to a better physique and complexion, which, will in turn do wonders to one's level of attractiveness.

Just imagine. Mark Lee with a clear, smooth complexion and a muscular build... ... ... ... ... ...

Not quite a good example. However it will still be a vast improvement.

And then, imagine... let's say Brad Pitt with a stickman's build and orange skin complexion...

For those of you who catches no ball, what I am trying to say here is that while one might be born ok looking, a bad complexion and a poor physique could still make one downright ugly. That is why I have been torturing myself by running, going to the gym and forcing myself to sleep early.

In short, the path to a healthy lifestyle is a path of tremendous pain and suffering.

Basically this is my plan for the next 3 months:

Every morning shift: Gym in the afternoon. Sleep around 1030pm

Every afternoon shift: Jog in the morning. Sleep around 1015pm

Dota: No Dota action after 930pm

Diet: Eat a lot... whenever I can.

My morning shift is from 7am to 3pm while my afternoon shift is from 1215pm to 730pm.

What happened:

First Gym Session: Injured my right arm while doing bicep curls =.=

First jog: Felt like dying after completing 6 rounds on the stadium tracks. Suspect that my timing is around 15 mins. Damn.

Sleep: Went to bed at around 1045pm last Thursday. Counted sheep until around 1 am. Woke up 530am for work.

Dota: Friend jio-ed me for Dota at around 10pm (I've forgotten on which day) saying that they need one more to play 5v5. I agreed even though I had planned to sleep around 1030pm. Proceed to spend 1 hour getting thrashed in Dota. Went to sleep at 11pm+ feeling damn pissed. Dota sucks... Big Time...

So in actual fact, nothing had happened according to plan and I am actually feeling less healthy than when I started.

However, contrary to popular belief, I am a man of iron will and discipline. I believe in finishing what I have started and that is why I will continue on this path of self destruction. In fact, I have so much determination that I had just forced myself to go for another gym session, focusing on chest exercises so as not to stress my right arm.

The result of this determination? Very painful neh nehs.

Life truly sucks.

The Dreaded Walk In Interview

2008-05-25T12:44:00.014+08:00

Woke up early today to try my luck for a chance in working with the prestigious Singapore Airlines as a cabin crew.

If not for the fact that my current job sucks big time and with the kind encouragement from a friend (the sister of my good friend... she is working as an air stewardess in SIA) I would never have attempted this interview.

I know that I don't have the looks needed but well-meaning friends seemed to overlook the fact that I look more like Mark Lee then Christopher Lee. I personally think that my friends might have been blinded by my GREAT personality =.= (My neighbor was more truthful. When I messaged her to tell her I am going for an air steward interview, she immediately told me that I cannot make it. Whatever else her shortcomings might be, you can always count on the very 可爱的猪头 Xuan for the truth =.= )

Despite having outbreaks of acne and deep dark eye circles from my stressful 6 days week of working (the late nights spent on non-stop Dota action are not helping also...) I decided to go for IT.

Upon reaching the very nice Sheraton Tower Hotel at around 10 am, I proceeded up to the 2nd floor where lines upon lines of mostly beautiful people are queuing up. I immediately felt out of place (I have never felt comfortable wearing a shirt and a stupid tie. A tie is one of the most impractical and stupid thing ever invented!).

Feeling very awkward, I smsed a few of my friends to try to alleviate my nervousness. Their replies were mostly encouraging, except for my very nice neighbor who keeps giving double-edged encouragement. Thanks ah, very nice neighbor! Next time you forget bring money for cab fare ah... I will laugh at you from upstairs :P

To continue with the story, it is a long wait before I can pass my registration papers to the counter staff and while waiting, I talked with the guy standing in front of me who turned out to be the younger brother of one of my colleagues =.=

So as we continued waiting and making small talks and ogling the many pretty girls around, someone came and collected our registration papers before ushering us into a big room where corporate videos were being screened. We were brought into the room in groups of 10 and those in the same group have to sit in the same row.

We waited in boredom as the videos keep repeating themselves (why can't they put some nice movie out for us to watch while we are waiting? I wanna watch Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull!). Finally, after more than 1 hour of waiting, we were brought into the interview room for the first round of interviews.

There were 2 Malay girls (who looked like they were stewardess in the SIA) interviewing us and we were given a relatively simple task of introducing ourselves. The first 2 to speak gave fairly standard introductions and the whole thing went on smoothly but it's my colleague's brother who nailed the thing.

He (my colleague's brother) stood up and greeted both the interviewers and the rest of us and then proceeded to talk about himself, his passion, where he had traveled, how he got his bronze tan and etc...

All in all, it was a damn brilliant speech with good body posture, hand gestures and stuff. It didn't help that my turn was directly after his.

Still feeling stunned from his great speech, my mind was blank as I stood up and said, " Um...Hi, Good morning to you. My name is (insert my name). I am 24 this year and I am working in (insert workplace). Well, I like travelling and that's why I am trying for SIA. That's all, thank you."

I cursed myself as I sat down. Usually I could talk a lot of crap. I have no problems doing presentations in front of a crowd and usually my presentations are well received by the audience. I don't know whether its a lack of sleep, my self consciousness (from the fact that I know I don't look good) or its just that I am not suited for this job that causes me to flunk this simple introduction. However, what I do know is that I am hungry and without having to go for the 2nd round of the interviews, I can actually go for my breakfast and lunch now.

When the results came out, only 2 out of the 10 of us made it passed the first round. Naturally, I was not among the 2 but my colleague's brother was. After we congratulated those 2 whom have passed, I left the hotel and headed for home a bit dejected. That's one job struck off from my list of dream jobs (I will talk about my list some other day...)

Nevertheless, I've still got more than a year left in my current bond and this means I've still got plenty of time to look for that elusive dream job. Yeah, I planned to change job the moment I've landed any job in my dream jobs list and God (I know, I know, I am an atheist who should be promoting free thought, but if there really is a God up there... Any God will do...) please let me strike Toto so that I can pay off the 10k++ left in my bond and still have money left over to fool around.

Haiz... Life sux...

The Two Paper Clips

2008-05-23T21:01:00.010+08:00

I just re-affirmed one thing about myself today.

I am either:

a) A very gullible idiot.

or

b) An exceedingly kindhearted person.

As this is MY blog and I do have an obligation to put myself in the best possible light, I have to say option b.

I was on my way home from a long hot sticky and damn tiring day of work when I was approached by this teenager who was holding a cardboard clipped full of paper clips.

As this teenager is a guy and not some cute looking girl, I put on my most 'dao' expression and decided to act like I was in a hurry and just walk away.

However, before I could walk away, the teenager had began his sales pitch.

Teenager : "Hi there, I was wondering whether I could take up a moment of your time?"

Being a very nice and well mannered guy, I found myself replying against my own accord.

Me: "Ok sure... So what is this about?"

Teenager: "Would you be more comfortable speaking in english or mandarin?"

Me: "Either would be fine...?"

Teenager: "So are you local?"

Me: "Yah...?"

Teenager: "Oh ok, its just that you have this American accent when you talk..."

Wow, my English pronunciation has always been bad and this is the first time that someone mistook my bad English for an American accent. Either that or this teenager is using a standard compliment for every potential customer he meets...

Teenager: "So where are you studying right now?"

Me: "I am actually working right now..."

Teenager: "Oh... its just that you look very young..."

Hm... that would be two compliments in a span of maybe four sentences. I am flattered despite knowing that it is a standard sales pitch and felt obliged to continue listening to what he has to say.

Teenager: "Well, actually I am from this entrepreneur school and me and my classmates have to pass this graduation project which is to grow our $1 capital into $100 in 3 hours time..."

The teenager then points to a couple of his classmates who are in the area, one of them whom was accosting a rather pretty office lady.

My attention was immediately diverted by the pretty office lady as the teenager continues yada-ing.

Teenager pointing to his cardboard full of paper clips: "So if possible, can you help us buy some paper clips for whatever amount you are willing to pay? Our deadline to get the $100 is at 9pm..."

The mention of his project deadline brought my memories back to my polytechnic days when I was desperately trying to meet the deadline for my final year project. We had been given a total of 6 months for our project. I had procrastinated until the last week to do it and the days of sleepless nights trying (albeit futilely) to complete the project had seemed like hell to me...

I could totally emphasize with anyone who is trying his best to meet a deadline. Thus, I generously pulled out a ten dollars note.

Me: "So how many paper clips would $10 get me?"

Teenager holding out the cardboard to let me choose the paper clips : "As many as you like... but please don't take all of them."

After applying my astounding mathematical skills to calculate the worth of those paper clips (factoring in the cost price, inflation, effort, etc....) I happily took these 2 paper clips.

(Due to the misplacement of my phone's cable, the pictures of the paper clips cannot be shown)

Teenager: " Wow! Thanks!"

Me, before walking off: "Naw... Good luck in your graduation project!"

For some reason, this reminded me of an incident a few years back where I had just drawn $20 from the ATM and this old lady approached me asking for some money while stating that she had no money to go home. As she looked really old and pitiful, I gave her all the money I had drawn and watched her walked off happily...

Weird Day...

2008-05-20T22:21:00.010+08:00

Today has been a weird day. And when I say weird, I meant the kind of weird that leans more towards being shitty. In fact it leaned so much towards shitty that it's more like a shitty day that leans towards being weird.

Yeah, I know I am not making much sense and yeah, I know I am full of shit, but today has been a really shitty day. And when I say shitty, I really meant it. Literally.

For those of you who are curious about the shit I am talking about... here is the gist of the story.

I was taking the train to Queenstown to work today. Yeah, I know some of you might be wondering about what is so strange with taking the train to work when thousands of other people are taking the train everyday for reasons as simple as being poor or as obscure as being a freaking green peace member who is obsessed with saving the environment. However, what is weird is not my train journey but what I saw while the train was moving from Bukit Batok towards Jurong East.

People who take the train regularly will know that the journey can be awfully boring, especially when it's like the 321241th time that you are taking that particular train at that particular timing everyday. This is especially so when there are no cute girls on the train.

So what happened is that I was looking out of the window at those nice nice stretch of grasslands underneath the mrt tracks when I saw this middle age man squatting under one of the mrt track.

Now, this in itself is already very weird as the place where he is squatting, is in the middle of exactly nowhere. Thus, out of curiosity, I strained my eyes to get a better look. The man was squatting with his trousers down, butt facing in my direction. At that exact moment when my eyes focused and gained perfect clarity on him(Yeah, my eyes are like camera lenses... it takes time for them to focus), I saw a string of slimy looking brownish stuff coming out from his butt. I curse my Lasik given good eyesight =.=

If this is the only thing that happened today, I would have shrugged it off and not bother to blog about it for I am a very lazy, um... I mean laidback person. After getting off at Queenstown, I went directly to the toilet inside the mrt as I have a urgent need to pee. While peeing in the very empty toilet, this weird guy suddenly came in and proceeded to pee at the latrine that was nearest to me.

Those of you who are guys will know that straight guys absolutely do not pee directly next to each other if they have a choice. This guy reminds me of the gay I knew in my training school and as if this is not enough to creep me out, that guy actually grinned at me while I was washing my hands. Being a paranoid kind of person, I decided to let him leave the toilet first before leaving myself to ensure that I am not being followed by him.

After leaving the toilet, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that weird fucker heading towards the opposite stairway from where I was heading. And so, after getting down from my side of the stairway, I headed over to the Kopitiam where I usually have my lunch. This was when I saw the weird fucker walked past me.

At this moment, I was rather alarmed and thoughts like, "How the fuck did this fucker get here", "Is this Fucker stalking me?", "Fuck, is this fucker from the CPIB? But I never did anything?!", "Damn, I hope I remember what I've learnt in my combat training so I can wack this fucker upside down" were running inside my head.

However, the weird guy just walk past me and disappeared somewhere out of sight. Feeling stupid and a little bit gu niang, I went on to have my lunch. I was running abit late after my lunch and as I was walking towards my workplace, the weird fucker appeared again out of nowhere in front of me. Fuck! Is this guy a ninja or what?

The weird fucker then approached me and introduced himself. Fuck! He is really stalking me!
Basically, this is what I recalled from the conversation...

Weird Fucker (From now on he will be known as WF) : "Hi, I am Lee... Can we exchange numbers?"

Well, if its a girl asking for my number... I will give it without a second thought... However, as this is a potentially gay fucker, I answered very coolly in a 'dao' manner.

Me: "No thanks, I would rather not."

WF: "Oh well... Do you stay around here?"

Me:"No, but I work here in -Confidential Info-"

WF:"Oh well, I am actually running a business in Well Being... yada yada yada (I've forgotten what he said)"

Me:"Huh? Well Being? What is that about?"

WF:"Well, basically our customers are young ladies who are interested to maintain a healthy and slim body and to increase their bust lines"

Basically I have no idea what he is talking about...

ME: " Uh huh...?"

WF:"So we are looking for young people like you to help us promote the business and yada yada.... "

I've forgotten most of what he said except the important key words such as young ladies, slim body and bust lines. And so, as it sounds like an interesting business, I took down his number and promised to call when I am free.

However, after some serious consideration, I've come to the conclusion that this is either:

1) A scam that targets innocent looking guys like me and probably involves me parting with a substantial sum of my money.

2) This guy is a gay fuck.

And thus decide against calling the WF.

And to top off this splendid day... I waited for 1.5 hours for my younger sister so that we can have dinner today. Damn... I am such a nice brother.

The Unoriginal First Posting

2008-04-09T23:21:00.003+08:00

Read through, very interesting

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was
having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister
is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think

I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough.She took Boy to the principal's office.
While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained
to the principal what the situation was. The principal told
Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to
answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-
grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a
third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam
and tells her, "I think Boy.can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal,"I have some of my own
questions.Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Nee lam:
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets"

Ms Neelam:
"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Boy: Coconut

Ms Neelam:
"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could
stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam:
"What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could
stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam:
"Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Boy.: "Yep"

Ms Neelam:
"You stick! your poles inside me. You tie me down to get
me up. I get wet before you do."
Boy: "Tent"

Ms Neelam:
"A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first."

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took
one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: " Wedding Ring"

Ms Neelam:
"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good."
Boy.: "Nose"

Ms Neelam:
"I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver."
Boy.: "Arrow"

Ms Neelam:
"What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means
lot of heat and excitement?"
Boy.: "Firetruck"

Ms Neelam:
"What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't
getit u have to use ur hand"
Boy.: "Fork"

Ms Neelam:
"What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some
men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man
gives it to his wifeafter ! they're married?"
Boy.: "SURNAME"

Ms Neelam:
"What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has
lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making
love?"
Boy.: "HEART"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the
teacher,"Send this Boy. to National University , I got
the last ten questions wrong myself!"